Aleena Johnson, Entrepreneur, Mom, Military Spouse

00:00
And I remember I found a doctor and he said, put Crisco on that baby.

00:12
Welcome to another episode of Chewing the Fat. I am your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in, downloading the podcast. I certainly do appreciate that. Thanks for the folks that have reached out and found me on Instagram at Chewing the Fat BR. And of course, I am always grateful to the folks who support the podcast at ChewingtheFatBR.com by buying me a coffee. I am so happy to have my guest in the studio today. We met because I saw her product.

00:40
I think in Augusta and co. And I found out via her social media that she's actually getting ready to leave town. So I had to grab her in the studio. I mean, get her in the studio. I didn't grab her in the studio. I don't want her husband to beat me up or anything like that. Get her in the studio to talk before she takes off for Germany. Please welcome my friend, Aleena Johnson. I'm happy to be here. Like I love you so much. Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome. As I said, you...

01:09
had, I think, products in Augusta & Co. with your company, the Kulture Kabinet. There were some teas in there, maybe some candles that I saw, and I think it was, I think, probably a year, maybe two years ago. And I was putting together a little gift basket of Augusta and things like that. And I was like, oh, this is made here. This is put together here. Let me put some of these things together. I think I was running a contest,

01:39
I just fell in love with your packaging, your product, your story behind it, and then had a chance to meet you. I think, I wanna say it was out in Columbia County at some- And Liberty, the park. Some park, and there was an event, and a tent, and all this other stuff going on. And so I just fell in love with you in your heart. And it was so cool to get to know you over the-

02:08
over the short amount of time that I've known you, just to find out we have so much in common. I just could not let you go without getting you in here to talk to you. You'd not have let me cry. Okay, I mean, it's okay. It's a safe space. Too early in the interview for us, Laney. All right, I'll put butter in you up there. Thank you. Yeah, so Aleena, you're, not a native of Augusta, where is original home for you?

02:38
So I'm from North Carolina. It's a small town outside of Beaufort. Okay. And I stress that Beaufort. Not Beaufort. Beaufort. North Carolina, yes, Beaufort, North Carolina. It's called Merriman. Okay. Like it's right on the coast outside of Moorhead City and Atlantic Beach, that area. And it is, we say Merriman. If you look on the map, it's going to say Merriman, but I'm from there, you're not, so.

03:05
I know better. Thank you, girl. It's Merman. OK. And it's just a small town. It's literally a small town. My family is just a one-road street, and that's it. And so, yeah, so I grew up in the Outer Banks, went to Fayetteville State. So I've been around. I met my husband, who's military, so we've traveled. But yeah, Merman is going to always be home. Yeah.

03:31
I'll say Fayetteville, you know, cause you gotta break it down. Yeah, you know. Cause once you get them to Fayetteville, then you can get up to Merman from there. Yes, sometimes. Gotcha. Sometimes. But yeah, so I say Fayetteville more often than not, but Merman is my home. My heart is in Merman. Yeah. Okay. Family still there? Yeah, for the most part, like the older ones, the great, great aunts and all of those, you know, we still have cousins and stuff, but our generation is kind of spreading out, you know.

04:00
But yeah, this home, my aunts, my cousins, the ones we grew up with, they're all there. Okay, okay. But you single child, you got brothers and sisters? I have a brother and, well, I grew up with my brother and sister from my mom. My dad has kids. So I have two brothers and a sister who just had a baby like three weeks ago. Oh wow. And so yes. So I have quite a few, but...

04:28
They're spread out too. My brother was Air Force. And so he's been all over the place. He's in Florida now. My sister's in Texas. And then my other set of siblings, the younger ones, cause my dad was out here. He was for the streets for a little while. But he, so the younger ones, they're in Virginia, South Boston, another small town. Okay. Yeah. So I'm assuming the,

04:57
the large metropolis of Merman had a lot to offer you in the world of seeing the world and global reach. It was in a sense that it was like, yeah, no. Yeah, I gotta get out of here. But now that I'm out, it's like, God, I wanna go home. You know what I mean? It was right on the what literally it took two minutes to walk to the, we call it the creek. And...

05:26
We would, I remember getting on the, God, my family would go to jail right now. Back in the day, we used to get on the hood of my granddad's Cadillac. He had this long brown Cadillac and he didn't want us to wet up the seats. So on the way back, we would get on the hood of the Cadillac and drive back to my grandma's, drive back to the house. And so it just, the sense of family is, oh my God, like it made me everything I am.

05:56
growing up wanting to be that to my kids, wanting to have those moments. That was everything. But again, not enough to make me stay because it was small, it's tiny. But yeah. So what were you into when you got into high school and what were you passionate about? I know, like I said, you're an entrepreneur, you have a business.

06:24
and awesome products, was that something that you always kind of had in school? No, not at all. So I actually wanted to be a veterinarian for like as far back as I remember, until I found out I had to deal with snakes. I thought I had a choice. Like I could pick and choose what animals. Just only the cute ones. The fuzzy ones. That was not the case. So we switched gears real quick. And...

06:49
I remember around seventh and eighth grade, I remember sitting in Ms. Bowden's English class and learning about the pyramids and Stonehenge and thinking like, I wanna see these places. Like I wanna, I felt a pull then to like travel, but I didn't, you know, I was seventh, eighth grade, I didn't know. But I knew that I wanted to see these places. And around eighth grade, eighth or ninth grade, talked Dr. Peterson and Ms. Laughinghouse.

07:19
all English teachers just made learning fun. And I remember Ms. Laugh-N-House left out of the classroom and everybody started yelling and screaming and you could hear her coming back, the footsteps in the hall, the high heels back in hall. And everybody got quiet. And I was like, oh, I want that kind of power. I want that. And so I shifted gears and I was like, I'm going to be a teacher.

07:47
Like I'm going to command that kind of respect. Like, you know, and so I went off to college to become a teacher. I went, it started that way. I became a teacher. I taught at a private school in Red Springs, North Carolina, right outside of Lumberton for a little while and got married, went to Tacoma. We got stationed in Tacoma and I landed my dream job, dream teaching job anyway, and found out I was pregnant with.

08:16
my third. And at the time my husband's like an E4 and so a specialist. And so we counted the cost and it's like childcare. I'd have been working just literally to pay for childcare. And so I became a stay at home mom. And I had a few other jobs throughout the years, but I've always been of the mindset, I guess.

08:41
I don't want to work for anybody. At that point, I've been doing this whole thing by myself. So when I would get jobs, and especially if I felt like the manager, whoever was incompetent, that does something to my spirit. So- I don't think you're the only one, but I totally understand what you're saying. Yeah, so after being in charge of my own situation and stepping into these jobs where I felt like the leaders-

09:08
I knew more than the leaders or the leaders didn't know what the hell they were doing. I just said, no, I got to work for myself. The way my attitude is set up. So yeah, so that kind of just started it. It planted the seed like, okay, if you're going to do anything, it has to be on your own terms. And here we are. After a few years of...

09:39
Yeah, but I mean, it's something that you're passionate about the way you want to have yourself treated. You kind of put yourself first in that. And then you found a way to sustain that through something that you also could come... Because you were passionate about yourself, you found out something that allowed you to be passionate about yourself and a product. And...

10:06
you know, and continue that. Yeah. What was that discovery period like for you to, for the folks who don't realize what the culture cabinet is? What is the culture? So we make natural products and we sell natural accessories. And to your point, my son, when my son was born, he had eczema so bad, like really bad. And I'm like, this is my first son. I don't know. You know, the doctors, they started giving him steroids.

10:35
And he had ballooned, I'm talking about this little baby, he was probably three months old. And he just, my son, my youngest son looked at pictures of him when he was little. And he was like, you're smiling, but it looks like it hurts. Like that's how big he was. And his skin was just so bad. And they kept wanting to feed him steroids and wanting to give him medicines. And I remember I found a doctor, a black doctor, and he said, put Crisco on that baby. And I'm like, Crisco?

11:05
Mm-mm. Right. But he explained the benefits. He told me about the fatty acids and all the stuff like that. And I tried it and it worked. And so I started trying to figure out new things, different things. Okay, we can heal ourselves without all the shots and the injections and the topical steroids and all this stuff. And so I started looking for a way to heal him homeopathically or naturally.

11:36
that's kind of how it was born. And then fast forward, I met one of my closest friends, Frances, and she introduced me to salves. And she had made this salve that was good for burns and cuts. And so I took that and started tweaking it and making it personal, making it my own. And friends started asking about it, then family, and I started giving it away so much.

12:05
just giving it away to where one friend was like, don't do that anymore. Right. Don't do that anymore. She's like, this is your time. This is your research. This is your energy. She was like, sell this. Like you have a marketable product. We were watching the movie. You remember robots? It was a good one. And Mr. Big Will would say, see a need, fill a need. Yeah. And I remember watching that movie probably like a week after she and I had this conversation and it was like, okay.

12:34
I got this. And so then it was like, so it went from the salve to tease. And then it was just, it just, it expanded from there to what it is now. But it all started because I didn't want my son being pumped with poison essentially. Yeah. And here we are. That's great. That's great. And so the, the, the, the business now is it's

13:04
Well, you're transitioning. You guys are moving again from Augusta and you're moving to Germany. Yes. So the business I know on the website, you talk about, you're going to take it, not that it's closing, you're just taking a month to actually get everybody moved to Germany. And so we lived overseas before. And so there are certain rules that you have to follow in these other countries. Like, so it started becoming less of a hobby.

13:34
in Italy, but I couldn't make it, I couldn't be official. So I did it for friends, you know, close friends and colleagues over there. But we're still trying to figure out the logistics when we go to Germany. Like it's just a whole, it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. You can't, certain installations, you get penalized for using the postal system. Oh wow. And 98% of, well,

14:04
90% of my customers are online. They shop through the website. And so right now we're just doing the logistics. I've found a few distributors maybe here. I'm actually, I haven't really told anybody, I'm actually working with a few people to franchise. Okay. Yeah, and so the first store, fingers crossed, will be in Scottsdale, Arizona. Oh wow. Yeah, and the second in the Seattle, Washington.

14:34
Oh my gosh. Yeah. You heard it here first. You did. That's such great news. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. I am too. That's amazing. Because then you can just like still have your US base. There you go. They can fulfill from there. And you ain't got to worry about all this exchange rates and all this extra postage and all this other stuff. And they can just deposit your money. I mean, you said it.

15:02
I'm just saying. Right. I'm just saying that the electronic transfer can still happen like that. Yeah. But even with that, like learning, like, oh my gosh, I'm learning so many NDAs and just all the contractual stuff. It's stuff that, and I'm blessed, oh my gosh, and I'm so.

15:22
fortunate to be in a position, to be in this position. And it's like one of those things is like, you think about it, you know, at the beginning and now it's happening, it doesn't even feel real. Like this is a thing right now. Right. Like this is happening. What is life? Right, you know? And so, and even with that, it was one of my friends who, this is the importance of having your tribe, your squad, because my friend was, she had called, she was like, I'm thinking about starting an apothecary.

15:49
And I'm just telling her all of this stuff and she works HR. And she was like, probably 20 minutes into the conversation, she was like, wait, wait, wait, why are you telling me all of this for free? She was like, pump your brakes, like you should be selling this. And I'm just, you know, just, you're my friend. And she was like, no, ma'am, that's not, no, you're also a business woman. You're an entrepreneur, you.

16:18
have to, you did all the legwork, you've been doing this for years, stop giving away so much stuff. And so it kind of switched to, she was like, okay, well, maybe I'll open up the first culture cabinet. And then it went from, and that one conversation, it just went so fast. It was so fast. And it's turning into this. And so. That's great. That's so great. And I think that's one of the hardest lessons to learn. And it's a weird lesson to learn, but that your knowledge is a

16:49
that people will pay for. You know, somebody calling me like, hey, can you help me? What kind of microphone should I buy for a podcast? Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm just helping you out. I'm just answering a question. But there's people making bank, doing the same thing because they're telling it to people that aren't their friends. And it's like, well, I know you're my friend, but this is also now a business and my knowledge is worth something too. Obviously, that's why you called me.

17:17
And even that makes me uncomfortable still. Right. And people don't talk about that. Cause you got that heart, you have a heart for people. Again, I think that's where we connected. You got a heart for people and you got a heart for helping. You wanted to help your child. You know what I mean? You wanted to help yourself by not working with somebody else. You want to help your child with his ex-wife. You got a heart for helping people. And it's like, it almost feels dirty to turn that into a commodity. Yes, oh my gosh, yes. But...

17:46
in the world that we live in, it's not dirty. It's not dirty because I know for a fact you still are giving back to you the communities that you're in. Absolutely. Just not with that bit of knowledge. Right. I mean, you may be like, okay, well, I'm going to donate a few products to this silent auction or I'm going to do this, that, or the other, which is all fine and good.

18:11
to know the value of yourself. And I mean, the thing is, is you knew the value of yourself when you decided not to work for anybody else. Oof, he better, go ahead. You know? Go with your sermon. I'm just saying, you did, you knew it. And now it's like, this is just a continuation of that. It is, yeah. This is another part of that. It's like, oh, you know, I've leveled up. This is also a part. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm still getting used to it. Like, I'm still getting used to it. Yeah, it's just.

18:39
And again, I got a squad behind me that's like, it doesn't matter what you think. Right, this is the right thing. This is what's gonna happen. Like, you know, who will check me real quick. Like, no, like, no. Right. Like, write me up an invoice and let's make this happen. And that's important. That is important because there are people who will feed off of your knowledge as long as you're giving it to them. And you have to know, it took me a long time to learn to say no.

19:08
And my affirmation cards, explicitly affirmations, I have one card specifically that said no is a complete sentence. I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe you that piece of me. I'll never be rude or distasteful. Well, again, that's perception. But I owe it to myself to say no. Yeah, yeah. And you're absolutely right. As soon as you say no,

19:38
somebody who's trying to get something from you wants to know why. It's like, that's it. You got the whole thing with a two letter word right there. There's no other words needed. Yes, and people who are not used to, and I tell people all the time, people who are not used to hearing you say no, when you start setting boundaries, that looks a lot like disrespect.

20:02
It looks a lot like you're being rude, you're being this, you're being that. But no, like, no, I had to learn to set those boundaries to protect myself and my peace, because I value my peace more than anything. When this starts not being fun and disrupting everything I've built in terms of my, myself, like, you know, just my, my peace of mind, my health, my happiness, it's time to let it go. And I'm okay with that.

20:30
I'm not so tethered to any of these outcomes that I'm willing to jeopardize that. Yeah. I'm not. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And it is, and when you're talking about the people that get the thing, oh, well, you don't have to be rude. It's like.

20:47
It's like, well, don't you think it was rude of you to take advantage of me all those times that you asked to borrow a cup of sugar, or you asked for a ride to the grocery store, or, hey, can I borrow $5, or can you grab my lunch today? You know, those people that think of it as a transient transaction, and they anticipate you forgetting about it. Mm-hmm. And then, you know, the same person, if you were to come back to them and say, hey, remember when I picked up your lunch last time? Could you hit me?

21:17
Could you get me this time?" And they're like, oh, I ain't got it. Mm-hmm. I don't feel like it. Okay. It's payday then. Can you just go ahead and, I need to get that back from you. Oh, I thought we were boys. I thought we were hanging out and you just paid. It's like, no, you said you didn't have no money and asked me to feed you. I fed you for a day. Learn to fish. I need my money back. Right. I call those emotional vultures. They will suck.

21:45
dry and then again and the time you say no the time you say no they forget about the hundred yeses that is amazing to me like the forget the hundred times i said yes and i did for you and i sacrifice the one time i told you no it's a problem yeah and that's what you that's what's making you angry is because again i had no boundaries and now it's time to establish them and you're bothered yep yep okay it's like

22:12
that that part wasn't about you. Right. You know, don't be so caught up on yourself that you think it's about you. Right. I would said no to anybody in this particular situation. Facts. You know what I mean? And to be fair, I have been that person, which is why I'm more sensitive to it now. Like, you know, I've been the person that's like, hey, can you do this? Can you do this? And then they'd say, you know, my husband, for example, bless his heart. Like, you know, you get so used to him saying yes, that when it's like,

22:42
No, like, wait, who are you talking to? I'm looking around like, you didn't tell me no. Right. And so, but again, being more sensitive to his needs and other people's needs in general, because we do have a tendency to be selfish and we get lost in that and we don't realize it until it costs you a friendship or it costs you something that you hold dear. And so you have to assess yourself. Like I do check, I have these, I call them check yourself moments.

23:10
At night, like, you know, if something happened during the day, I sit back and I say, okay, how could that have played out differently? How could I have made that situation better? What did I do or say to make it go left? You know? And sometimes, you know, apologizing is like, okay, but sometimes I'm like, nah, I ain't doing nothing. I'm like, that was them. They got to live with that. Cause I know who I am. I'm an asset. I'm a prize. And so.

23:39
you know, your loss. Yeah. And it is what it is. Yeah. And they've just got to, there's the door. And they've got to accept that or not accept it. They could not accept it, but they're not accepting of that. That changes the direction of that friendship, that relationship. It's like, we was heading down the same road, guess what? You just put a fork in it and I've just turned. Absolutely. You know? Absolutely. So. And I've lost.

24:09
I've lost friendship, like 20 year friendships because over just...

24:15
Just people not wanting to see, to check themselves, to check themselves, to hold themselves accountable. Like, no, you can't keep hurting me. You can't keep saying things that are disrespectful and expect me to let that slide. Like, you know, and I'm one of those people, like if I fuss and fuss and fuss, it's like, okay, you're so good. But when I'm silent, when I have no more energy left to give you,

24:44
then it's over. Like I can't keep doing this to myself. And to be fair, I've let a lot of relationships linger that should have been dated a long time ago. And again, that's a lesson that I've learned now. Like now I'm not gonna do that. I'll give you maybe two times because I know you may have had a bad day. You know what I mean? You didn't know who you were talking to. You didn't know I was shutting your shit down.

25:08
You know what I'm saying? Right. And so, you know, I'll give you one or two times, just show you some grace, because I know that I would hope that you would do the same. You don't know what kind of day somebody's having. Exactly. And so I'll give you that grace, but now it's a habit, now it's a pattern. And now, yeah, we're good. I'm good over here. It's kind of like the, you know, the star quarterback at high school. That was the peak, you know?

25:36
They don't know how to grow beyond that. And they keep talking about that game winning, you know, football that they threw in, you know, 20 something years ago. It's like, what are you doing now? You've not gone beyond that. You have, you have to grow. You have, there has to be growth. We, as people have to continue to learn. If you don't learn something every day.

25:57
That's a wasted opportunity. It is. And then you get stuck. And the more often you get stuck, the deeper you get stuck. And you've just got to, you've got to be open to other people's opinions, other people's growth. You know, I want to cheer you on. I want to see you win. My philosophy is that, you know, that there's room at the table for everybody.

26:22
and everybody can eat. It don't mean you just sit at the table and look at somebody else. Everybody can eat. And if you outgrow that table, that's fine. Go build another one. Exactly. Go sit at another one. But it doesn't mean you have to shit on or disrespect the table you just left. Exactly. Was it Jay-Z? He had a song, Him and Beyonce, and I'm not a stan or anything. It's just the first thing that popped in my head where he said, if I'm the only person

26:51
If I'm the only person in my team making money, then we failed. Like if you're, basically if you're part of my squad, we all need to be doing something productive. Right, you don't need to be just making my money in your pocket. Right, right. You should be taking my influence to build your own whatever it is, your own dream, your own entrepreneurship, your own shoe line, whatever it is. It's like, you should get more than a-

27:17
paycheck from being in my atmosphere. Yes. And if I'm your friend, I'm going to encourage you to do that. It's like, yeah. I'm going to push you to do that thing that you want to do. Like, you know, the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I'm going to give it to you now. If you don't want to take it, then that's on you. But I'm not anybody in my circle. If you come to me and say, hey, I'm an example. Oh my gosh, you're going to be so mad.

27:46
favorite people on this planet. She was, she's a death doula. Kima, shout out to Costa Rica, unplug. Unplug Costa Rica, sorry. So she, she was like, she's a death doula. She helps guide the transition and makes it easier for families, you know, experiencing loss. And she was like, we were talking about a book. She's like, I need to do a book. She was like, or I'm looking for a book or something. Looking for a book to help these families and I can't find it. I said, well, write it. Like, write it.

28:16
You know, and she's like, oh, I hadn't even thought of it. And now I just read, I just read the version that she has so far. And it's so amazing and it's so helpful. And it's just beautiful. Cause it's taken from her past experience and just her dealing with loss and battling cancer and just, she poured her heart into it. But it just took someone saying, you do it. See a need.

28:41
feel the need, you know? And it is just, I can't wait for it to come out. I can't wait to share it with the world. Like it's beautiful. But you need those people to say, do it, you got it. It's in you, you just have to let it out and just encourage them. And so I hope I'm that. Except the little time I've known you, I believe that you are, you know?

29:04
Cause I'm that person too. It's like somebody says, oh, I want to do this. It's like, oh cool. I know somebody who does this. Let me just make that connection for you. Let me just call this person. They might have an answer or tell you how to, you know what I mean? Or you want to do this and cool, let's do it. You know, if you, if you have a friend that's doing, and if you have a friend that is doing something, support them. And I don't mean ask for a free ticket to their concert when they're playing at the bar downtown. I don't mean ask for, you know,

29:34
bag of tea, or ask for this, that, or the other that they're trying to establish, I'm saying buy a ticket. Buy the tea. Follow their podcast. Share a post. That don't cost you anything. Two seconds. Anything. Share the post. You already, you scrolling, and you scrolling and you're like, oh, that's my friend, put a, you probably might, you might not even put a heart on it.

30:03
You know what I mean? Put a heart on the share. Put it on your story. Do something so that you are supported and it doesn't cost you anything. Na da da. But there's a lot of people, oh, I support you. Support somebody with a little bit more than just lip service. Because that means, unless you're telling word of mouth, but don't just tell me, what is it? Don't just talk about it, be about it.

30:30
You know, if you say you support, then really support. And again, just to share, just because you have friends on your list that I don't, who may be in need of something that I have to provide. Like, you know, and so something as simple as that and people don't understand. I have been, and on the flip side of that, like I have been that person to support, to where support, support, support. And then when you don't get it back, it hurts. Yeah.

30:56
It hurt, like, you know, and again, we don't talk about that. We don't talk about that because it seems selfish. Like, I helped you. Like, help me. Like, you know, you don't want to ask. You just expect- Right, would you mind blah, blah? Can you do it? Yeah. Right. Like, you expect people to do, to treat you the way you treat them, and that's not always the case. And again, it's another lesson that I've learned in this business is that-

31:25
I can donate to you. I've had people reach out to me and I've donated, so you don't count because you're awesome, but I've had people reach out to me and I've donated so much stuff and couldn't get a share or like or a follow. And then they come back and they forget that they asked before. I didn't. They forget that they asked and then they ask again. And I'm like, you know, not this time. I've had people say, hey, I love your teas. Can you give me the recipe? I'm thinking about starting my own business.

31:53
Legit, no lie. I've had people, hey, I saw your cups or your mugs or whatever, can you give me your vendor? I wanna start my own. Yeah, like. What? And I remember when you wouldn't even share a post. Wow. But I'm supposed to just give you all this information so that you can. All this product and all this, so you can start your own thing and making money for you. Yeah. It's like.

32:22
And you want to go, it's like, well, what if I give you this tea recipe? And you start to, I'm going to tell you right now, it's also going to cost a lot to do this, to get this off the ground. And one thing that will help you a lot is if you have people to share that you're doing a new thing. Exactly. You know what you have not done? Share that you got this donation of this tea from me. Not a, not a single post. Right. Not a single post. Couldn't mention it in a little fine print at the bottom or nothing like that. No shout out. No, nothing.

32:52
But you know, and I remember somebody telling me when I was younger, what you remember, God forgets. What you forget, God remembers. And I'm the same way. I ain't God, but I'm saying. You forgot it, but I didn't. You know what I'm saying? Well, and that's, what is it? My angel said, people will forget what you say, but they will not forget how you made them feel. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And that's what it is. And it's like,

33:20
you try to separate, okay, like, you know, again, I try to be neutral. Like, you know, just, okay, I don't, again, I don't know what they were going through. I don't know this stuff, but I can be real petty too. And so, and so I, you know, I'm working on myself. I'm working progress. It's okay. I'm not working progress. And so, so I try to like give and give, but then it's like, okay, now you're taking advantage. And now that part of me that I'm trying to, you know,

33:50
push back, she's coming back, she's coming to the forefront and I don't want that. And I tell people all the time, like, you know me as this. This is me, because I try to be this all the time. But somebody else may be like, ooh, she is such a bitch. And I'll tell you quick to believe them too, because you don't know the backstory and you don't know. And I could have been having a bad day, you know? And I could have been having a bad day.

34:15
And for that, I apologize. And I will, you know, generally, you know, like, dang, yesterday was, yesterday kind of sucked. Let me call, let me call my cousin back and let her know I ain't mean to cussle. But then it's like, no, this person tried to take advantage of me, this person, and they'll never tell you what they did. You'll never hear that. Like, you know, and so again, believe in both. But you know what that is though, right? See, as you've decided to.

34:43
set boundaries for yourself. That bitch, that's your boundary guard. Mm-hmm, my protector, my warrior. Exactly. And she don't play about me. Exactly. So. And she has a role to fill. And it's not like she fill it damn well. She does, she does. So, I mean, but that's the thing. It's like if the boundaries had been respected, she wouldn't have had to come out. Right, you would have never met her. Right. But now that you have, it's hard for me to put her back.

35:09
Right. Because she sees you for who you are, you know? And I can be cordial and I can be nice, but I see you. Well, you know, and they say that, what is it? Respect is earned in teaspoons, but lost in gallons. Mm. You know? Ooh, that's deep. I'll see how it snaps. Yeah, I'm just saying, it doesn't take, you know?

35:30
one thing and you lost a gallon of respect. And now you got to try and fill that back up teaspoon at a time. That's going to take a long time. So it'd be best not to lose that gallon. Don't lose that respect. Be broad, okay. I'm just saying. But yeah. So when's the big move? When's... So we're set. So the shop, I'm going to stop taking orders. I've already let my host, because I do private label wholesale across the country.

35:59
especially my West Coast clients, I've let them know, you know, October, get your orders in October, the beginning of October, because I'm thinking October, the end of October will temporarily pause the website until we get set up. We are set to leave around the beginning of December. And so I'm giving myself December and January to get, you know, get the kids in school, get acclimated to where we're going and everything. So yeah, we have a few more markets.

36:29
What is it? The Augusta downtown market on Saturday. Probably a couple more times before October. But again, it's just hit her. I can't say definitively which ones, but I know we'll be there this Saturday and probably the first two Saturdays. What month are we in? Are we just in August? We just hit August. Well, I say we just hit it. We're about halfway through August.

36:58
Listen, time is just, oh my gosh. So yeah, so probably actually I skipped all over September. So I'll probably do a couple. But again, on the Facebook page, you'll be, I mean, the Instagram page, you'll be able to see where we are and I'll keep you all updated by that, by Instagram. You know, I wish you nothing but success with all that. And the podcast has some loyal fans in Germany.

37:26
and in the UK and in Europe and France and Ireland. And so keep a lookout for the cultural cabinet coming to Germany. But in the meantime, all of my peeps here in the US, get those orders in, show your support, because it's gonna take a minute for her to get across, get across there and get settled. So stock up, get ready for the holidays and stuff like that. You know?

37:56
Um, Elena, what's bringing you joy right now? Me, like I worked so hard, like me, cause I put in the work, you know what I mean? And so anytime I can just, just be like, be present and be in the moment. That is everything to me because

38:17
We have a tendency to just be all over the place. You know, I'm a mom. I was, you remember last year when you helped me? Do you remember I called you and was like, I need, I'm working on my EDD. And I was like, I have to practice. I am nervous. I don't know what to do. Can you please, can you help me? And I just love you so much for that. Did I charge you for that? I did. I'll tip you after the show. That was for the tea for the gift basket. Like, you know, paying for it, you know.

38:44
But yeah, I don't think I ever, I thanked you. I'm sure I thanked you. You did, of course you did. Yeah, but yeah, I saw the video popped up this morning and I was scrolling through and I was like, oh my gosh, it's been a year. So it's been two years since we've known each other. Oh my God. But yeah, so just me being able to be present because I'm pulled in so many directions that I may be here now, but I'm thinking, okay, next week the movers are coming, okay, I have to get my son this suit for welding class and you know, just all of.

39:12
all over the place, but anytime I can be here and still, that's joy to me. Sipping on cacao or tea and just being in the moment, that's bliss.

39:32
This is the second segment of the show we tie more into your mental health journey. I personally believe the more we can talk about it, the more it's not as scary. Depression wants to tell you that you're alone in things and it wants to just beat you down with that. So the more we can share those common experiences we have, share those things that we struggle with, I believe that lets us know that we are not alone in that. So for you, how do you keep the darkness at bay?

40:03
Hmm

40:07
I have to detach. I have to be alone. I can't answer the phone. I don't want TV. I don't want kids. I don't want anybody. I just can't. I have to be alone. I have to sit with myself and figure it out. Some people want people to help walk them through it. I don't. I need to be able to just be alone with my thoughts and get comfortable with them again. Because.

40:35
I'm a Virgo. So we just overthink everything. And so I think that's the biggest thing. And having to compartmentalize certain things. Like people don't, there's not enough conversation. There are jokes, but there's not a real conversation about parenting and working while parenting and running a business and going to school. And like, there's not a real conversation. There are, but just about how for real, for real ghetto parenting is.

41:05
Like that shit sucks sometimes. And you're trying to, as me as a mother, I'm trying to navigate three different, well, four with my husband, four different personalities, the dog and everything else. And so I get to a place where I literally shut down. Like I can't function. Like I just can't, like, I mean, almost physically can't move. I'm so, and I don't know.

41:34
And I guess it would be a form of depression, you know? And in those moments, I have to, and I'm blessed enough to have done enough work to recognize when it's coming. And sometimes I can stop in enough times where I don't completely shut off. Like I don't completely just go dark. Yeah. And I just, and again, my husband is phenomenal because he'll, and the kids are like, mom is doing too much.

42:03
And around that time, so I guess they'll see, okay, she's doing too much, she can't sit still. And not just like, you know, flighty, but just like, okay, I'm just bouncing from one project to the next. And they're like, mom is doing a lot. And so my husband will be like, hey, like, are you okay? Go get a massage or whatever. But then in my head, that's just something else I have to schedule. That's just something else I have to do, you know? And so just...

42:33
I just need to be by myself. And if I can get into nature, if I can go sit in the grass somewhere and just be in the sun or the rain, I love the rain. I love the rain. And so just be on the porch with it raining. Oh, that centers me. That helps bring me back. And it's like, okay, again, being present, don't be in the past, okay, that happened last week. You gotta move from that. You have to let it go.

43:02
or refocus or, you know, stop thinking about what's happening next week because it's not here yet. Be here, be now. And I have to constantly remind myself because again, as a mother, a military spouse, I juggle so much. And I had a friend who said, but you make it look easy. And my response to her was, what is the alternative?

43:28
Like what my children suffer, my husband suffer, like somebody suffers, but then it's a control thing too. I feel like if I'm not handling or managing something, then everything's gonna go to shit. And having to allow myself to release that, like, okay, they're not all incompetent. I did a good job.

43:49
You have to have confidence in your past work. Right. To know that it's going to move forward. To know that it's going to be okay. And trusting the job that I did, that the sacrifices that I made were worth it. And they show me that it is. But again, it's a me thing. It's a me thing. And again, I'm doing the work. That shit is hard though. And it is ugly. And it makes you, it calls for you to address things or acknowledge things in your past and your present.

44:18
that are ugly, things you may have said, things you may have done that weren't an example of you at your best. Yeah, yeah. And it just, it sucks, but it's worth it. When you do have those moments, it's worth it. And I have more of those moments now, the peace and the tranquility than I did in the past. Right. But that means working through those ugly emotions and not just trying to put a bandaid over a bullet hole. It means going through it. Yeah.

44:47
and realizing like, okay, you can't just keep adding stuff to your plate, trying to distract you from what the cause is. You have to fix it. You have to fix this. And so, yeah, it's ugly, honey. Is it with being a military spouse, I imagine that there are times that that in and of itself

45:17
can be a whole other plate of stuff that you gotta deal with, with deployments, time away. Are you gonna get the guy in the dress uniform show up at your door one day? That I wish, y'all can't see me, but I rolled my eyes so hard. So hard. She's looking at the back wall of the studio. Yes, because it is, and actually my husband's deployed right now. So this past year.

45:47
Like again, I'm trying to sell a house. I'm trying to make sure the kids are registered in the school overseas. Like I'm trying to do all these things alone. And he does what he can when he can. But it's it's me, you know? And so he he he tries. But then it's like sometimes it's like, boo, just just let me handle it because you in the way, you know, like you're trying. But it's just causing something else for me to do.

46:15
And he understands, you know, like even an example, the house, we were going back and forth about renting or selling, renting or selling. And he was just like, babe, we're going to do what you want to do. And then I got to add it to like, no, don't just do what I want to do. Like, what do you mean? Like, we need to because I don't want any of us to be resentful. And he was like, but here's the thing. If we do what I want to do, and it doesn't work out.

46:44
you're going to be... No, he said, if we do what you want to do and it doesn't work out, I'll feel some type of way, but I'll get over it. You're going to hold on to that shit a lot longer than me. And so, I'm fortunate to have a partner who, whilst he gets on my nerves, he is very, oh my gosh, he's perfect for me. And in terms of just having to deal with that, I try not to think about it. Yeah.

47:13
I just, I can't, I don't watch the news. I haven't watched the news since his first deployment. And it was probably what, oh, three? Oh, three, something like that. I can't, cause he lost friends. He's, you know, it's not been an easy, it's not been easy. And so I have to, I try to be what he needs when he needs me, you know, while keeping my sanity.

47:43
Okay, you know, what was it that was it not the Ukraine where they were trying to jump on the plane trying to get out Kuwait was it Kuwait or somewhere like that but I had a friend on that plane who was trying to get back home right and they were trying to jump on the like I this is real and so I have to detach from his job yeah I can't tell you nothing about I can tell you

48:08
really nothing for real, for real. Because I have to detach because if not, I'll be worried sick. And I don't want that energy on my children. I don't want them to worry. I want them to know that he's okay. And we believe he's okay. We know he's gonna be okay, but I just, I can't think about that. And not every spouse handles it that way. But after almost 20 years, it's like, okay, he's gonna return home, but I can't focus on what could happen.

48:36
Because then everything here starts to fall by the wayside and everybody's worried and concerned and I need them to live their best life. I need my kids to live their best life. I need them when they talk to dad to be happy because then that energy transfers. He's happy because they're happy. And so that's just, again, that's not for everybody. Everybody deals with it differently, but I have to detach from what could be. I think that...

49:04
the way that you're handling, I think that then, just like you're saying with the kids, that allows you to be a light for him when he does have those moments to, whether you FaceTime or video call or just phone call or however he communicates with you, that he has that positivity, he has that energy, that sense of family and home and love without having to like.

49:29
Think about where he is, where he's calling from, or what he may have just walked out of. Yeah. And even the stuff that happens back here, I try not to, I handle it. I got that. But then that's partnership. That's what a partnership is, knowing what he needs to know and what he doesn't need to know. My son fractured his ankle. And it was like, OK, the day that it happened, I was like, no. It was like, OK, we need to call my friend. She's a nurse. Let's figure this out.

49:58
before I tell him. Now when that, now the phone call is different. It's like, hey, today he did this and you know, but he has a cast and he's good. Like, you know, and now when he talks to him, it's funny, like, man, I was playing basketball in vans, which was dumb as hell. But I rolled my ankle, you know, so now it's fun. And it's not like, okay, everybody's panicking. And you know, right, you know, like, let me get the answer. Let me figure it out before.

50:25
I come to this man who's already, you know, over there in a situation with more bad news. Like, this has to be calm. This has to be good. Yeah. And so, yeah, so it took a long time. It took, I mean, 20 years, like I said, almost 20 years. We had to figure some shit out. Because it was rough. I mean, we were to get back then where we were writing letters.

50:51
And then we had, then we went through the, what is it? The pop-ups, the, what is it? AOL? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. AOL. That's a jerk. You have AOL. Yes, right. Yes. Like we did, that's our journey through this thing has started back then where we couldn't FaceTime or we didn't have Facebook. So when something happened on the news, you panicked because you didn't know when he was going to call. And then sometimes those calls were two and three weeks out. Right.

51:19
And so we had to learn to manage emotions and we had to communicate. Like when we do speak, communicate, and men are terrible communicative. Anyway, I digress. No, that's a true statement. That's a true statement. So I'm still teaching him some things, but he's getting it. He's getting it. He's coming all the way. But you know, that's, you know, you have these relationships with people, you know, that you call your friends and you, you know, or your family or whatever. And, you know, we,

51:49
think about them as something that's eternal. We never think of an end of that. And you never know when that last conversation is going to be the last conversation. I don't say that to bring the mood down or anything like that, but it's just a fact because you don't know. And everybody always said, I wish I'd known...

52:12
that that was the last time I was gonna talk to that person because I would have said blah, blah, blah, blah. Or I wouldn't have had that fight, or I wouldn't have let it end like blah, because the last thing they heard was me saying blah. Okay, then understand that every conversation, when you say goodbye, that could be the last one. And I think if you develop a self-awareness,

52:37
you know, an empathy for others, you know, just a consciousness that, hey, time is fleeting. Time is the only non-renewable resource that we have, and it is our most valuable resource. And when it is spent, it is spent, and you cannot make up more time. No matter how often we use phrases like, oh, I'll make some time then. I mean, no, you can't make time. You decide to spend it how you're gonna spend it. And when it's spent, it's spent. So...

53:07
when you have that moment to have that conversation, leave it good every time so that they know and they feel that, you know? Have you read the four agreements? I have not. Oh my gosh, so the four agreements, and I literally wake up in the morning telling myself that I, the agreements that I make that day are to be impeccable with my word.

53:37
be mindful of what I say, how I say it, to not take anything personal. Because, you know, again, remember earlier, like, you know, that person could've been having a bad day, but whatever they project, it's not, it's not about me. That's something they're going through. To not make assumptions. If something happened, I'm not gonna assume, I'm gonna question, I'm gonna ask, I want clarity. And to do my best every day.

54:04
And so if I fall short with one of those agreements, it's like, okay, I didn't do my best today, but I tried tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and those are the agreements that I'm going to make with myself all over again. To be impeccable with my word, not taking anything personal, to not taking anything personal, to not make assumptions and to do my best. And when you do that, I leave everybody with love. I'm not mad, I'm not resentful. It's like, okay.

54:34
I didn't take that personal, I'm not gonna make an assumption, and that's about me, like, no. And you leave lighter, and it makes you love harder. Because again, I don't know when the last time, and I'm not angry, like, yeah, you did something, but it doesn't offend me. I'm not as quick to take offense, and therefore, I'm not tight. I'm not feeling some kind of way. So if I left...

55:03
at least you know, she cared, she loved, and she wanted the best for me. And again, I feel almost the same. If you're not taking anything personal, if you're not making assumptions, then I feel the love even through your hurt, even through your pain. I feel like, okay, it's okay. It's okay. He didn't mean that. And I might cuss him a little bit.

55:33
later, checking. One of my friends, her mother had passed and we were there when she found out and she snapped and she just went off on everybody. And I'm like, okay, again, don't say that personally. So I'm in the room and I'm rubbing her back and I'm like, are you okay? And then everything get quiet and I was like, don't you yell at me like that no more.

55:59
And of course we started laughing and that's just kind of... And I like that. I love laughter. I want to laugh all the time. And I try to look for a reason to make somebody laugh or to make somebody smile because even in walking, walking past somebody, a smile, just a smile, you don't know what that does for somebody. A hug. I'm a hugger. Oh my God. I love hugging. Like, just because you don't know what that does for somebody.

56:30
And so, yeah, so just again, the four agreements, read it. It's amazing. We'll definitely have to put that on the reading list, for sure. Yeah. And it talks about death, having a good relationship with death, knowing that this may be the last time we speak. So I'm going to hug you, and I'm going to say I love you, because you don't know. And I want to have that. But when we depart, I want you to know that I loved you. Oh, I love present tense.

57:05
This is the third segment of the show. It's time now for the Fast Five. The Fast Five is time now for the Fast Five. Fast Five. Sorry, I'm still working on a theme song for that. I mean...

57:18
It's been going through the years. I've been working on that thing. Fast Five is powered by Poddex. It's an app created by my friend, Travis Brown. It's for podcasters, great interview questions, but they're physical decks and you could just have a car that you can keep in you and you pursue wildly if you ever need like an icebreaker question. But I'm going to use the app. You can find it in any of your app stores. As a matter of fact, though, if you want some of those physical decks, if you go to chewingthefatbr.com.

57:48
and use promo code CHU, you can get 10% off your physical decks. But I've got the app open right here. No wrong answers. Just first thing comes to the top of your head. You ready? All right, here we go. Am I giving you five questions? I'm just going to give you five separate questions. Each one will have a single answer. It's not, you don't have to do five answers for every question or anything crazy like that. Okay.

58:16
when it comes to the top. Come on, I'm ready. Adrenaline. Chris, number one.

58:25
What are you superstitious about? Hmm.

58:34
It's just about... Anything? Just the, yeah, I mean, well, I don't know. I do wear like my crystals and stuff, you know, for protection. So I guess just like, like the evil eye. Okay. You know, things like that. Negative images and things like that. Mm-hmm, like yeah. Don't look at me funny. I didn't look at you funny. I did not look at you funny. Okay, question number two.

59:02
Who is your biggest mentor or teacher this year? Ooh, that's a good one. My friend Kima, Kima Ward. Oh God. She's just, oof. She has been everything that I needed this year. She, in terms of even business, like we met actually, she did my website. Okay. Yeah, and that's how we met. And we had known each other. Well, we've been in the same circle.

59:31
But I was like, she, I don't know about her. She. And we had a conversation, like one of our other friends, Amber, Amber was like, no, she can do your website. Like she did my website. Scales and alchemy, I think. Don't be mad at me, Amber. I tried. So, Scales and alchemy. But Amber, and her site is beautiful. And I was like, oh, she did this. Okay, I'll do that.

59:58
And we just became instant friends. Like I loved her the moment I'm just the moment I met her, but she's guided me spiritually when I needed her. She's been there for emotional family. Just, she's been there just for everything. Just for everything in terms of business. She's one of those who I said, like I said, like, no, do that. Like you got this, push yourself. And so she's so Kima, Kima Ward Hopper. Awesome. Thank you, Kima.

01:00:27
for your mentorship this year. All right, question number three.

01:00:34
What was the first car you ever owned?

01:00:39
Oh my God, a Nissan Stanza. I don't even think, yeah, do you even know what that is? Do they even? No, they don't. They don't make it, yeah. It was like a loose. Was that like one of those little like crunch together hatchbacky kind of things? Oh, it was so long and square. It was terrible. It was so long and square. It was just, oh, it was a white Nissan Stanza. And I had it, it was probably like a 92. Oh wow.

01:01:07
and I had it in 98, I got it in 98, something like that. Oh, she was old, but she got me from point A to point B. Okay, good car. I used to, my first car was, it was my aunt's car and she gave it to me when I got old enough to drive it. It was a white Toyota station wagon with blue pleather interior. The stereo was not stereo, it was mono. There were only one speaker and it was like AM, FM radio and only one speaker.

01:01:37
but I drove the hell out of that car. That's what I'm saying. Like, hey. And because it was the station wagon, everybody, Rob, can you pick me up? Okay. But that was with $5 worth of gas, we'll get you a whole tank. Right, right. Back in my day. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so. Damn, a station wagon. Yeah, it was, I drove the hell out of that car. Oh my gosh, that was so bad to that car.

01:02:00
It didn't deserve what I did to it. It really did. Oh my God. All right. Question number four.

01:02:09
If humans came with a warning label, what would yours say? Hmm. Ding. That's what I said. Ding. Oh, buckle up. Buckle up or buyer beware. Buyer beware. OK. I like it. And question number five.

01:02:37
Sweet or salty? Sweet. Okay. Sweet. Okay. Like for snacks and stuff like that? Yeah, I want a piece of cake right now. Really? Okay. Yeah. See, I'm more of a salty snack person. I mean, as big as I am. The chips? Yeah, I love some popcorn. Oh my, give me a bucket. Oh, for a piece of cake? I mean, I like pies more than cake. Who are you eating right now? I'm just saying. Like. Look, look at me. I've eaten lots of cake.

01:03:08
I have eaten lots of- Clearly not, because you like pies. Well, I do like pies, though. Like a blueberry pie. Do you make- Where do you even buy a blueberry pie? Do you make it? I mean, I can, but like, go over to the pie hole. Is that a place? It is a place. Oh. It's a place. Played off of, off of what way extension? It's called the pie hole. The what? The pie hole.

01:03:31
They're on the Instagram and everything. Just check them out at the pie house. Listen, you have taught me something new today. Some delicious pies. But yeah, I usually will go for a salty snack. But I just like a popcorn or something. I don't know, maybe a self-deprecation. I feel like I shouldn't have a lot of sweets and stuff like that. Don't do that. We're not gonna talk about ourselves negative, don't we? No, no, no, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, I don't wanna get the sugars. You know what, I can't, I cannot. But you, oh, fun fact.

01:04:00
I just started eating the cheese, so I hate cheesecake. Hate cheesecake. I hate cheesecake flavored stuff, anything. Just hate cheesecake. I just started eating at the Cheesecake Factory probably about eight years ago because it's called the Cheesecake Factory. So I thought like I was gonna go in and it's like wall to wall cheesecake. They got some great bushel sprouts there at the Cheesecake Factory. The miso salmon. Oh my God. And I keep telling myself, I'm gonna get some for eight years. I'm gonna get something different.

01:04:30
I get the same thing every time. The miso salmon and the strawberry shortcake. Oh my God. If you like, you should try the roasted brussels sprouts that they have there. I don't know if you like brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts taste like ass. Okay. And I don't know what ass tastes like, but I'm just gonna assume that that's. Well, these are fried with bacon and it has like a maple glaze on them, so it's got this sweet salty thing going. Are they crunchy? The outer leaves are crunchy.

01:04:59
So it's, you try one. For you, I will. Try one. I'm just saying, they good. Do you like cabbage? I love cabbage. Don't feed me that lie, because somebody tried. No, no, no, no. I'm saying it's like that. But I mean, it's like those outer leaves on the cabbage. You know, those dark green ones. That's kind of what.

01:05:24
Brussels sprouts are. But anyway. Yeah, that was a whole lot. It was. OK. Next time you go to a Cheesecake Factory to have your miso salmon. Just just so I'm safe. Can I just try one Brussels sprout? Make sure you put a little bacon on it, because Rob said you got bacon on it. And the maple. But I don't see. I don't want to eat the whole thing because that would be that would be a waste of money. But if I like it, I'll order it. No, I'm going to do it. I'm going to get I'm going to get for you so that I can FaceTime me so I can see.

01:05:53
Like while you eat the Brussels sprouts. You know I will. That is, you know I will. Aleena, that is our Fast Five and that is the show. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for inviting me. Oh my gosh, this was so much fun.

01:06:07
I was nervous at first, but... Ain't nothing to be nervous about. We just talking. And if folks want to keep up with you and your journeys to Germany and the things that the Kulture Kabinet is about to pop off and these locations that you franchise, what's the best way for folks to find you? Instagram is probably the best way because I usually post there and then share it to Facebook. But it's... My handle is @TheKultureKabinet.

01:06:35
Spell with the two K's. T-H-E-K-U-L-T-U-R-E-K-A-B-I-N-E-T. Okay.

01:06:42
So I will make sure to put that link on the show notes there. And you can, of course, find out more about Aleena at the podcast web page at ChewingTheFatBR.com as well in the guest section. But again, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for your heart and everything that you've got going on. I love you. I love you too. And if you would like to support this podcast, I would appreciate it if you bought me a coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com. But until next time, I look forward to the chance we have to sit a spell.

01:07:12
and chew the fat.