Audrey Monroe, Creator, Model, CEO

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These dresses were meant to make an entrance and an exit.

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Welcome to another episode of Chewing the Fat. I am your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in, downloading the podcast. I certainly do appreciate you being a part of this community and your support means the world to me. Thank you so much to everyone that's bought me a coffee at chewingthefatbr.com. Also writing the reviews and the ratings on Spotify, Apple Music, and Pandora apparently. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for being here. Also,

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I really appreciate my guests and I love getting to know people. I love reconnecting with people, but also getting to know new people. And we've done a few things together here recently, but I need to find out more about my guests and I want you to find out with me. Please welcome Ms. Audrey Monroe. Hi. Hi. It's great to see you. Thank you. Welcome. Your studio is wonderful.

01:05
No, I'm happy to be here. I appreciate that. No, I'm happy to be here. It's very comfortable. Oh, thank you. We had an opportunity to do some playing at the wet paint party that the arts council put on, I guess it was a couple three months ago, two, three months, something. Time and me don't hang out a whole lot, so I forgot how long ago it was. Your costume was amazing. Oh, yes.

01:31
Myself and Ryan Abel dressed as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Yeah, the cutest. The cutest at the table, I must say. I was the white queen. Yes, and you were the white queen in all your glamour and glory. Thank you. I'm excited to find out more about you and your journey in glamour. But to start out first, are you originally from Augusta? No, I'm actually originally from Baltimore, Maryland. Oh, wow.

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And I came to Augusta nine years ago. Okay. So it will be nine years in October. I can't believe it's almost been a decade. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. But I will say this. I feel like you are a staple of this community though. That makes me feel really good. I mean, I was absolutely expecting to hear you were like, oh yeah, born and raised and you know, blah, blah, blah. So, so that's really cool. I think, well, being from.

02:30
Baltimore, then we moved down to Louisiana, back up to Virginia, and then here. It gives you, you know, when you move around and you meet a lot of people and you're from a very diverse community, I think it allows you to have an ability to, it's kind of like a do or die. Yeah. I need to find my people here. And

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I have to give a shout out to Uli Bricker, my dear friend who really helped me through dark places. And she helped me find my people. And that's how I met you. And that's how I met Ryan. And it's been wonderful. Uli knows everybody. She really does. And you talk about somebody that's a staple of the community. She loves this town and she loves doing really.

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stuff. She does. She really does. So from Baltimore and you say you've moved around a whole lot. Yes. Was that just moving for work? So my husband's military. Ah okay. And you kind of go where the mission is calling. Gotcha. Yeah don't really have a whole lot of choice. No not really. I mean we get a little bit but we are that's coming to a close. Okay. It's coming to a close and as it stands

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We will remain in Augusta. Okay. I will be traveling, but we will make this home. That's great. That's great. And we love having you here. Your niche, niche, niche, we'll do niche. It sounds fancy. Tomato. Right. Your niche, niche, not your niece. I don't know. Maybe your niece is into vintage clothing. Your niche is vintage clothing and fashion and haute couture.

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Has that always been a passion of yours? Okay, this is going to be fun. My adventure with glamour started at five. Okay. With the ruby red slippers. And Glinda the Good Witch's wand. Okay. I was obsessed. My poor mom had to make me, you know, those paper mache wands and bedazzle it. And that's really where it opened up. And growing up, I watched a lot of

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Turner Classic movies. Oh yeah. So for me, the stars of the day were Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Rosemary Clooney, those were, when I saw a woman, I was looking at that. Yeah, yeah. And I feel like for me, glamor is the eccentric creative side because you're not born with glamor. Yeah.

05:28
you have to create it. And we all create glamour in some form, regardless of what our lifestyle is. Because it's creation. So it took me a long time to get where I'm at right now and how you're seeing me, but it's always been a part of my evolution. That's awesome. And in 2019, I just dove.

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I just dove right in. Heels first, right into it. Yes, because I'm a makeup artist by trade. I'm a licensed esthetician. Say that twice in five times. Yeah. I'll try it. And being in the industry in that way, I'm still creating, I'm always creating, I'm always doing something. But I worked pieces of glamour. And when I say glamour, it's that 1950s, you know.

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That kind of golden age. Yes, that golden age of old Hollywood, 1930s, 1940s. And what I really loved is the creativity from those eras. And in the vintage community, we say vintage style, not vintage values. Because the 30s, 40s, 50s, they did not have a loving, diverse background. So what I love from that era is the

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the glamour, everything else can stay there. You know, a lot of people have asked me, oh, don't you wish you were born in the 50s? And I said, do you realize what a woman's role was in the 50s? Heck no. I am a woman of 2023, full power, you know, and I love that. And I love that I can have this modern age to really show up, be a force of nature, and do my thing.

07:24
without conforming to the... The stereotype of the, you know, stuck in the kitchen or, you know, or the June Cleaver, you know, love June Cleaver, great television show, you know what I mean? That's all it was. She was a great mom, but, you know, as an actress. And life was not like that for women and a lot of other groups of folks. A lot of people.

07:53
Even women in the 50s, they appear happy, but do we really know if they were happy? What if they... I mean, a lot of them were in the war. They went to the war effort during World War II. And then when the men came home, they were told, oh, now your independence has to stop and you have to go back and you have to do X, Y and Z. And this is what it means. And I don't stand behind that message, preach that message, like that message.

08:23
So I'm glad that I can bring a niche to 2023, but it's that look, it's that creativity, but it's none of those values. Well, even in the like the Rosie the Riveter movement, like you said, giving women a true role to help those efforts.

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and empower them in a way they'd never known before, but then, like you said, to take that away from them. And they showed up. And they did the damn thing. Yeah, absolutely. And they did it. So I don't know how many women were actually very happy in the 50s. So I like to make sure that for those who are listening or even on my social media channels, that it's very woman strong and all individuals are welcome.

09:13
this is a creation and I have an obsession with old Hollywood, all that glitz and that glam, and that's really where it stops. Right. So to kind of finish the question that you had asked me, growing up I would add different elements of that glamour into my life as best as I can. At 11, I asked my mom to do my hair like Rosemary Clooney's from White Christmas, of which she did.

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So I had my first wet set. I had to sleep in sponge rollers and I loved it. But what 11 year old at that time is gonna go to school with a 1950s hairstyle when they already know that they're being ostracized? Right. So all of the lead up of my younger self and the development of my younger self.

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When I got older, I started Dita Von Teese. Have you heard of Dita? Yes. I want her to come to Augusta, Rob. Okay. We got to get her here. Okay. When I saw her again in January, I told her, I was like, Dita, you've got to come to Augusta. Yeah. I don't know if that will ever happen. But she had a part to play in my confidence.

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Because I looked at her, and there's several other women. Mae West didn't even start her career until she was 40 years old. There is strong women from that time, and now that have helped shaped my confidence. And I met Dita in 2018, and I walked out of the burlesque show and I said, that's it, I'm all in. And it's just been a steady incline from there.

11:06
I would assume having a place like Uly's is a great thing for you. I mean, obviously she's an amazing human being in what she does with her vintage clothing. And of course, I know her from costuming, from doing shows with the players and for Gordon and Le Chat Noir and places like that. But to open her doors to people that want to...

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experience a life a little different than their own, to put on something that makes them feel special or different or even included in a group that they would normally not have been included in. Uli really helped set the tone for my life here. May I talk about that? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so when we moved here,

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You're moving from one area you've lived in for a decade. You come here. You don't have any friends, have any family. You have this unique niche that you're in because I had a YouTube channel at the time and I was really focused on teaching others how to do makeup and hair. And I spent a lot of time alone. One day very early 2019, I saw Vintage Uli.

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And I walked in and immediately was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I mean, I ran out and I told my husband, I was like, I'm gonna be in here for a hot minute. You might wanna come back and pick me up. Because the entire vintage side of the store, I mean, it just enraptured me. And immediately I met Andrew Wicklum and then he brought Uli onto the floor and it was fate. And Uli not only was able to,

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introduced me to people who have now become my lifelong friends, but she educated me. So although my business is only four years strong, Uli was able to give me like a fast forward. It's kind of like, you know, like you go to college and you're taking courses. It's kind of

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quick in between courses and she was able to give me the education about the different decades and when I'm shopping online, because a lot of my vintage clothing will come from online, what I'm looking for. And it really helped. It really helped solidify that and that's how I started to build my wardrobe. My first true vintage pieces came from Uli Brecher. And I do wear vintage reproduction.

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Because vintage clothing, I mean, they're already 60 to 80 years old, so it's not something... You're not gonna get a whole lot of wears out of them. Yeah. Like, the dress I'm wearing right now, it's from the 50s. But, and I'm like, I am sustainable. It's slow fashion. I'm giving it another journey. You know, I'm part of its story. But, you know, when I'm running around downtown Augusta, I'll be in vintage reproduction.

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You know, it's still presenting in those errors, but it's not truly from that era. Because, you know, some of that true vintage stuff will fall apart. Right. Right. Right. You just don't, you just can't. And it does more to be a, I hate to use the term museum piece, but a museum piece is something that can be viewed in its original state as opposed to...

15:00
Well, I accidentally spilled a glass of wine on this or somebody bumped into me and dropped your cigarette and blah, blah, or whatever, you know, and to know that that can never be replaced. Let me tell you, you put on some true vintage clothing. Yeah. It's the fabrics. You're talking cotton, silk, linens, wool. These are fabrics that that was the only way those clothes were made. Yeah.

15:29
They didn't have any polyester. They didn't even have small, medium, large. You had your clothes made for you. You would go into like downtown on Rubens, you know, Rubens, you'd walk in there, they'd bring you a sample, you'd look through the book, you would try it on, they'd pin you up, they'd take your measurements, you'd pick out the fabrics, they'd tell you to come back in a week and pick up your dress. And then that dress was tailor fit to your body. But it's also why a lot of women only had five to six dresses in their closet.

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not 50 to 60 dresses in their closet. Right, right. That's really cool. I mean, I think about that as far as men all the time. You always hear about men getting a tailored suit made and even still, but that's how women's dresses were made. That's how men's things were made too. I mean, you would walk in and they would go, okay, we're gonna make a three-piece suit for Rob and here it goes. And you can pick, you could pick your fabric. So...

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It was budget, you could budget, make it budget friendly. You know, choose a lower grade fabric because there's different tiers of fabric too. You have different tiers of cotton and silk, so. And I guess, and probably a lot of that is also purpose driven too, if it's like, hey, I need a daily wear suit because I'm going to the office and I don't need something that's a tuxedo that I'm going to wear every, you know, six months for a banquet or something, so. Yeah. So you could, like you said, literally tailor.

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what you needed for the occasion as well. What is your most prized piece of wear that you have? Oh my goodness. I know they're all your babies, right? Do you talk to them? I do. They have names, okay? Oh, please tell me some of that. Okay, so I bought a dress to go see Dita in January. So January is my birthday month and I like to plan something special.

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Dito was performing in Atlanta, which she hasn't done since 2018 due to COVID and her touring in Europe. So I found this dress. And I found it through an online vintage store called Crash the Party. It is gold, full length, beaded and sequined. And it's all hand done.

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And the reason that I call it the Judy dress is because it reminds me of something that Judy Garland would have performed in. And I mean, when I tell you it's sequins and beads, I mean, from the top on the straps around my shoulders all the way down to the hem of the dress. And it's full length. It's beautiful. It makes a great noise. It's like ASMR. ASMR clothing. We should do that. That would be great. We should do ASMR clothing today.

18:23
Today, it's the Judy dress. Yes. So that is a very special dress for me. Is it something that I'm going to be able to wear all the time? No. But she will come out for special occasions. So I have like very special pieces. One of them I did just acquire from Uli. I've never worn her. She is a full green...

18:52
silk rayon dress. I mean, from the 40s, maybe even maybe late 30s, early 40s. Stunning. There's layers to this dress like where it gathers up on the side and in the back of your lower back. So you've got all of the the bunching and the ruching that comes down to create that cascade behind you as you're leaving because these dresses were meant to make an entrance.

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And an exit. And an exit, yes. Yes, so that's another prize dress that I have. That's awesome. Now, when you, I know like on your Instagram and your stories and that you have on, I love the way that you, like you've evolved, I mean, as everybody evolves with some sort of trend, and I don't say what you're doing is a trend, I just wanna,

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say that I love the evolution of your thing. Thank you. In that, you know, at first it was, and I think there's a place for all types of content. It seemed that it was mostly, I'm walking around town wearing this thing. I like what you've been doing here recently where it's like a kind of a this or that. You like my this or that? I'd like your this or that. Thanks. It's like what do you think, this or that? Or the...

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the little background pieces on how you put a look together. You know, you're going to go to this thing and you want to have a vintage look. Here's some things that you could wear. Here's these pieces. And your content is just tight. It's edited well. It's very easy to digest and to understand what's going on. I'm just a little guy.

20:47
You know what I mean? I'm just an old Georgia boy. But like I still can understand and appreciate what you bring to the table as far as in the world of instructing and glamorizing glamor. Yeah. It's about mixing and matching modern pieces to create an elegant wardrobe. So my bio really helps to sum that up on Instagram.

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you know, mixing modern and vintage pieces to create an elegant and classic wardrobe. Yeah. Because, as we had said previously, wearing true vintage pieces all the time. If you can live in true vintage all the time, great. But yes, I have ruined some vintage clothes just because it does, it wears out, it falls apart and it's sad. But I gave it a life. Yeah. I finished it. Thank you so much. So...

21:42
As you were saying, you went back and you looked at my older content. And I want this to be an encouragement to anybody who may be listening, because it really goes for anyone, even when you started. Regardless of your style or what you're putting your creative energy behind, it's kind of a bit of trial and error. You have to find what

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makes you feel that fire that makes you feel like, oh, I'm hitting it every single time. So when you get started, you are dabbling. You're dabbling in, oh, do I want to be more very 1950s pinup like Elfgren paintings? Or do I want to be studious, you know, in full-tripping vintage glamour? Or do I want to find a way to bridge because this is where I'm at now?

22:39
these beautiful looks from old Hollywood, but modernize it to create a new era of glamour. And that's really where my focus is, is let's create a new era of glamour. Let's utilize the style from the past, but bring it into a modern time where it's more accessible, more obtainable, and it helps. And I do have a passion for instructing, which is why in the videos you've been watching lately, it's okay.

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Everyone has a budget. Vintage clothing can be expensive. Well, how can we make it look like this? Or can we take a piece that is vintage and mix it with something modern and then make it, you know, utilize it? You know, repurpose, reuse as much as you can. And sometimes that means it's got to evolve a little bit. And then the this and that's, I have to give credit where credit's due.

23:38
Peter Branigan, I love you. He was like, I've got a great idea. I love it when you are showing two different looks. If we put that, why don't you do that? And that's where this or that evolved from was to kind of engage, let you tell me, what do you like? What do you think? Like, I'm gonna show you this robe or this robe. What would you wear? So I'm glad that even you found that entertaining. Yeah, absolutely.

24:07
Absolutely. Is there some piece or some event or something in your world that you really would like to obtain or attend? Again, if there's a dress in the window that you keep in your eye on or if there's an event like, I want to go attend this because that's when I feel like I've hit the pin-to-ultimate of...

24:37
So I'm a goalpost always moving person. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Always, it's always moving. Right now, Fashion Week in New York. I would love to be invited to Fashion Week. I would love, I have been invited to do things in the UK. I wish I could get there. So it would be really nice to be invited if it could be all expenses paid, you know.

25:03
They want me to come in as a guest. I would love that opportunity. I love that opportunity. I do have a goal of owning a true Dior piece. I'm a huge Dior lover. I love Dior. And I've done a lot of research on Dior and the way that he was able to bring glamor back into the world after the war. And what it meant to him. And what it meant.

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for women. He was very close to his mom. So I've been a very big fan of Dior. And I'd love to own a true vintage Dior dress one day. Have you seen the Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris movie? I actually watched the new one because it has Jason Isaacson in it and I am a huge fan of his. But I grew up watching the Angela Lansbury version.

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when I learned about Miss Harris Goes to Paris. So it's all about Dior. And it was really great the way that they did recreate some of those pieces in this version. And I liked it, I enjoyed it. I mean, but you talk about a strong female lead and storyline in them. If you've not seen that movie yet, I recommend that you see it. It's on Amazon. It's on Amazon. I mean, I watched it.

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without any idea of what it was. I mean, it wasn't in one of my for you suggested cues or anything like that, but I'm a trailer watcher. So like my wife hates it, cause I'll sit there and I'll just watch trailers. And there'll be just the weirdest stuff. We have that in common. Yeah. I mean, and she's like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm watching trailers. She's like, don't you just want to watch the, I was like, I don't know if I want to watch it or not. I need to watch the trailer.

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And I saw that trailer and I was like, this is gonna be a good movie. I really did, I really thought that that was a great movie and very empowering for women. It's just a good movie. Yes, yes. A feel good movie. It's very uplifting, it's an overcoming. Yeah. And it's a woman who says, I'm not gonna take no for an answer, but she does the work. Yeah. And that is very empowering, is to see somebody who's willing to do the work.

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for the payoff and not take no for an answer. Yeah. And so getting you to Fashion Week in New York, getting your Dior dress, what right now is bringing you joy? You're asking a heavy question. I like that. There are a lot of things that bring me joy.

27:58
What I do, I'm passionate about. I picked up a camera when I was five years old. It was a video camera. So I shoot all my own video. If there's movement in the video where it looks like it's coming in or out, my husband, who's signed for Miss Monroe Studios, he'll, he does that, takes the imagery, but I'll edit the imagery. So I find joy in doing that.

28:28
It's kind of like at this point in my life, I see joy as kind of like little steps every single day. Okay, I'm doing this. It's like my passion, right? My passion project. Okay, I go for a walk in the woods. That's bringing me joy. So I can't really pinpoint and say, oh, this one thing is bringing me so much joy. It's these very small treasure moments of life that are bringing me joy and that they're keeping me grounded.

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And I don't think we necessarily need to have one big thing. We need to find the smaller things because if you put all the small things together, it tells you your story, it shows you the bigger picture of life, and then that's your big thing.

29:19
All right, Audrey, this is the second segment of the show where we dive a little bit deeper into your mental health journey. I am a firm believer that we all as humans experience down days, whether we call it a diagnosed depression or not. Sometimes there are days you just...

29:39
don't want to get out of bed, or you want to stand in the shower and let the hot water just hit you for hours on end. And I think one of the lies that depression tells us is that we are alone in that, that we're the only one that feels that way. And that if we have more discussions about it, we realize we are not alone in that. So for you, how do you keep the darkness at bay?

30:05
I believe.

30:08
that I have struggled with depression from a very young age. But I was not diagnosed with depression until 2016.

30:25
Keeping the darkness at bay.

30:29
For me, it's learning my triggers. And when enough, like I've had enough, and no is a complete sentence. And saying no even to yourself. Because as somebody who is creative and loves to work, yes, I'm going to find joy in this, right? So I'm going to push myself.

30:57
when in reality you should be like, no, that's not what today is about. Today we need to just go for a walk and reek ground. So one of the ways that because I do...

31:13
Because I have and I do have, I have depression and I've struggled and I've been in very dark places. First of all, if you are in a very dark place, please seek help. I got to a very bad place in 2016 and I knew it was time. This is before my official diagnosis. You do have voices.

31:42
that are telling you that you're not worthy. Life is better without you. And when you listen to that, because it's very loud, your brain gets very quiet and you do withdraw. And it's not that there aren't people who wanna interact with you. You don't wanna interact, but it's not coming from a place of.

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frustration or anger towards them, it's coming from this place that it's like, I don't have anything to give because I can't even give to myself. So when those voices get really loud, that's where the trouble comes in. And I recognized that those voices were louder than my own. And I sought the help that I needed and I did go through therapy. And it's not just one session, you're going to go for a little bit.

32:39
And my therapist was amazing, life-changing. And one of the things that he said is, there are no wrong answers and you are not wrong. You're not abnormal. And I think in today's society, there are a whole lot of you need to be like this, and you need to be like that, and there isn't you just need to be. It's conform here, conform here, conform here.

33:09
Do it like this at your job. Do it like this at school. Do it like this at the gym. You know, in order for you to be told that, oh, you're doing great and you've arrived. If you can see in the moment that you're in, that you've already arrived, there's so much freedom right there. So my therapist was very good at getting me to realize that

33:37
because you're OCD, because I am clinically OCD, OCD and proud, that doesn't make me a bad person. My triggers don't make me a bad person. There is no wrong way to clean, I know this is going to sound silly, there's no wrong way to clean a bathroom. But for somebody who does struggle with OCD, there is a wrong way to clean the bathroom. So it's kind of like you have to come part like...

34:07
deconstruct the way that you are thinking in order to find the liberation and then rebuild from there. But know that there is nothing wrong. You're not bad. You're not broken. You just do life differently. And if that, if you can accept that, hey, this is how I paddle the boat, and it's great, it's going to get me to where I need to go, you'll find solace for your soul. Yeah.

34:38
During that time period of growth and relearning, unlearning what I learned and relearning, I started to be able to pay attention to where or when I'm starting to have that darkness creep in. And you're right, it is darkness. It is something telling you very evil thoughts, evil things about you.

35:08
And I'm a firm believer that you cannot pour from an empty cup. And in that moment where I'm hitting, because now I've been able to do it for a little bit, that I feel like, OK, one, I need to reach out to somebody. There needs to be one person for you, whoever that may be. For me, I will immediately reach out to my brother, immediately, because I know come hell or high water,

35:38
That's my ride or die right there.

35:43
You have to have that. You have to have that right or die. But what if you're in a place and you're like, but I don't feel like I have that right or die, then what do I do? In that moment, pull back. Pull back and reassess, where are you physically? Is there any ailments that are happening? Because you can't pour from an empty cup. If you're physically exhausted, maybe you're not getting enough sleep, I mean, sleep deprivation in and of itself can cause a lot of problems. Then you know what?

36:13
it's time for you to take some naps or go to bed early. Tell your friend, no, you can't go get that coffee. You can't go get it because you just need a couple days. You know, start thinking, okay, have I committed too much of myself? Is it mental burnout? Because for me, it's more mental burnout than it is physical burnout because I'm doing too many things. And so it's like, okay, you gotta flip those off. And then what...

36:43
What in this moment makes you feel safe? If it's mac and cheese, go make some mac and cheese. If it's playing a video game, as long as that video game is a positive source, not a negative one, go play a video game. But you have to know when to pull back out. And if you can't, that's where medication and therapy are so helpful. And that's kind of how I've learned my triggers when I need to pull back.

37:13
who I can reach out to. There's nothing wrong with taking medication. It's a helpful, it's part of your therapy. It's helpful for you. And if you have to be on medication for the rest of your life, that's okay too. There's nothing wrong with it. And I kind of, I had to live through, I don't know Rob if you went through this, but there was like medication shaming. Oh, have you taken your meds today? Something snide like that.

37:42
Well, if you have mental health issues, that can really damage you. So I had to overcome that for me to be able to start taking my medicine. I had to overcome that. And that was hard. So if there's someone who is listening to this and you need to start taking a medication, don't not take the medication because you've heard of the shaming before.

38:11
or you feel, oh gosh, it really does mean I'm broken. It doesn't. Medicine was created for us for a reason and for a purpose, and it can be used to help. And to talk about the medicine shaming, if you're on medicine and you have someone that is in your life that you know outside of these moments has your back 100%, if they do ask you, have you taken your medication today?

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know that they still have your back. It is not, they're not trying to shame you into it. They just see something in you that's off and that you're not acting like you might would when they know you've taken your medication. So you have to be careful of that because then you could fracture a caring friendship or relationship or something like that because that's what that low point you're in wants to tell you that you're doing is that.

39:09
Because depression will needle you with every low-hanging fruit in every weak spot that you have to try and knock you down even further. And I think it's also the tone of voice. You know when somebody is trying to hurt you with what is helpful for you. And if it's somebody that you know and you love and you trust and your approach to say, hey, are you okay? Have you taken your medicine today?

39:38
That is from a place of love and true concern. It's not done like, oh my gosh. You can hear that inflection when somebody's not on your team. And you're right, when you are very low, it can feel like even the one that you love is against you and they're not, they're for you. And for those who are hearing this, maybe you do have a loved one.

40:07
who is struggling. Go gently. It's a battle that is happening, but it's invisible. And it's a battle that you can't come in and you can't wipe it away, but you can ally and you can encourage and you can just say, I'm here. Hey, you wanna go do a yoga class? Hey, do you wanna just sit?

40:36
A lot of the times for me, I just need a presence. Yeah. I don't need to go. I want to be in the woods or I just want to sit. And if I feel your energy and I feel your presence, that will help. I don't need somebody talking to me. In fact, like noise, noise, noise, I kind of have to distance. So if you or someone you love is going through this, realize that you...

41:06
you're not going to be able to come in and you can't wipe it away, but you can ally. And I think that that's really important because my journey and what I went through, my husband had to learn, I can't come storming in, you know, like the soldier and win this for her. I have to just stand beside her and anthem her. And everyone needs that in their life.

41:36
And that would be my hope.

41:40
Yeah, it's one of those things where it's the true understanding of empathy. Being able to be empathetic for someone does not mean that you're trying to give them a solution or fix it for them. I've said this before, I've had to say that to... Just in regular relationships outside of ones around depression, but when you come in, it's like...

42:09
you want me to fix this problem or feel this problem. Because as husbands, we want to be fixers. That's where we go. As guys, we want to fix, you're hurting, I'm gonna fix it. I don't care what it is, I will fix it. But to fix it doesn't necessarily mean taking any action. Let me just be present, let me feel it, and let you know that I'm here feeling it with you.

42:38
And then if you need to touch a hand or you need to hug or something, that you know, my presence is there. But it can be a presence in the stillness. And in the quiet. Yeah. And it's so, that is so dynamic and it's so helpful because depression isn't, I fell down, I skinned my knee and now it's better. It's like an abscess. It's an ulcer.

43:07
and it will shrink, but it will always be there. And that's why I feel it's so important to one, know your triggers, stay away from them.

43:20
have someone and be honest with them. Sometimes it's even helpful to take your partner to a therapy session. If you can, if you feel that you can be vulnerable in front of them so that they can sit down and ally with you in the quiet. Or they can come in and sometimes, if they have to heroically get loud in order to help you.

43:51
although it's not going to feel good, sometimes that's the best thing for us too. You know, is hearing, you know, someone say, hey, I need you to get out of your head. You are worth it. You have value. You are beautiful and I see you. And in this moment, I will not let that darkness win. Sometimes you have to have that too. And that's why I think it's very important for you to be selective of who your people are.

44:21
especially for this because you can be manipulated in depression. And it is diabolical. It really is. Because when you are that vulnerable, many bad things can happen. And you are. You are vulnerable. So the allies you have in your life, the partners you have in your life,

44:50
Choose them wisely and don't be afraid. I mean, for me, my fear was opening up and saying, I feel so bad, I don't want to exist anymore. It was awful because not only did I have to get it here in front of me, but I had to let somebody else hold that. And I'm blessed to have somebody who's

45:20
holding it with me and saying, okay, and you are okay for those who are mentally struggling. You are okay. And you are still seen and you are still loved and you are still special and you are valid.

45:43
All right, Audrey, this is the third segment of the show. It's time now for the fast five, the fast five. It's time now for the fast five, fast five. Sorry, I don't have a theme song. I'm still kind of workshopping some stuff right there. I think that's it right there. The fast five. Do it all over again. The fast five is powered by pod decks. It's...

46:07
It's an app created by my friend, Travis Brown. They're great icebreaker questions, but it's created for podcasters, and they're physical decks that you can get with some great questions. I'm gonna be using the app, but if you happen to go to chewingthfatbr.com, and it's chewingthefatbr.com slash pod decks, and use promo code chew, you get 10% off your physical decks. But.

46:30
as I tell folks all the time, there's no wrong answers, just the first thing that comes to the top of your head, okay? Okay. You ready for this? Yes. All right, question number one.

46:42
When is the last time you cried? Yesterday. Okay. You a frequent crier? No. I actually am not a frequent crier. It takes a lot to make me cry. Oh, I cry at like car commercials. I am a blubbering mess. Are you? Yes. No, I'm not, but man, yesterday, I was... Yesterday. Yep. Yesterday was my day for the whole year. Okay. So you're good for a good 365, awesome.

47:11
Alright, question number two.

47:15
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Ireland. Ireland? I'm Scott Irish. And I want to go to the motherland one day. Same. I don't have the Scott part, but I have the Irish part. Have you been? No, I've not. And my oldest son lives in Cornwall, England with his wife and family. So I have a reason to at least get across the Atlantic. And I'm like, well, if we're here, I can just hop over to Ireland.

47:44
The green aisle. Yeah. Is there a particular area? There's a, there's a documentary on, on called hidden Ireland on, uh, prime if you have, I've watched it. It's so pretty. Well, I want to go, I'm a huge Peaky Blinder fan. And so I want to be in Birmingham next year for the premiere of the movie. So we'll see, we'll see what, we'll see what 2024 brings. That'll be awesome. Maybe you can.

48:11
get a Fashion Week invite for whether they're inviting you over there. You're inviting you over there anyway, right? So it's like, hey, while I'm here, let's turn this into a little- I mean, I can do- A little world tour. I can pull out Peaky Blinder. I've got the hats, everything. That's awesome. All right, question number three. Okay.

48:31
What did your 15-year-old self imagine you'd be doing right now?

48:38
We knew what your five-year-old self wanted to be doing. But what did your 15-year-old self imagine you'd be doing?

48:48
I think my 15 year old self would think of me now, like, like, if I had to project my 15 year old self, she would say that I would have multiple children and a big house. Yeah. I don't know. You know, when you're 15, your judgment is super clouded. And I was all up in my like, emo, like emotions. Gotcha.

49:17
And I will say this, that I will say this, my 15 year old self would want me to be the breadwinner. And that I would, so I would at least hit the goal where I am running my own business and I'm doing my own thing. There you go. So, you know, we'll just give it some more time and maybe I will be the full-time breadwinner.

49:43
There you go. There you go. Yeah, my 15 year old self probably thought I was gonna be a makeup artist. I know, right? Cool. We could have worked together. I was, I loved makeup effects. So I used to like do my own makeup effects, like practical effects. So I'd build like prosthetics and stuff like that for Halloween and loved reading Fangoria magazine. And so that's what I wanted to do.

50:11
what I found out is that those jobs don't exist in Augusta, Georgia, and I would have had to go somewhere else, and unfortunately, well, I say unfortunately, I wasn't able to leave at 15 or 16 responsibilities kept me here, but I don't regret any of those responsibilities because they helped turn me into a, no, I think I'm okay. That's why we're here today. That's right. All right, question number four.

50:40
Ooh, what gives you the creeps?

50:45
I do not like, I am clairvoyant. Oh. And so it really gives me the creeps as like walking into a place that has demonic activity. Okay. You didn't get that in the studio or the house, did you? No. Okay, thank you. I did not. Good. But that is really what creeps me out. Yeah, you can just feel that. It's just feeling that, oh, an energy. That negative energy and that just oppressive. Very oppressive, yeah, it's like, nope.

51:15
Yeah. Okay. That's much. I was going to say spiders. I don't like spiders. Oh, I love spiders. See? No. I want one. Nope. I do not. I saved them. You can have all of the ones that are running around. Literally, if they're in my home, I will like, even if they're the big ones, I'll put a cup over it and slide it in a napkin, carry it outside. I'll give it a name. I'll be like, bye Hank. Have a good night. I'll try. I try to catch and release bugs. Yeah. Except for

51:42
cockroaches because there's plenty of those. They don't need to be kept. They're not an endangered species by any chance, but like spiders sometimes. But I also have that weird thing like, if I like, because I don't have my own strength, I end up crushing the spider in the paper or the cup or whatever. It's like, well, I guess it's going to rain tomorrow. Have you heard that old wives tale? It's like if you kill a spider, it's supposed to rain. No. Yeah.

52:08
I never heard that. That's new. Learn something new every day. Maybe it was just a southern thing or something. My grandmother used to say that all the time, you kill the spider, it's going to rain. I'm like, okay. Bring down the rain. Because I like the rain. So that sucks for the spiders. Question number five.

52:29
If you could learn any language fluently, what would it be?

52:38
French? French, sorry. I didn't say that like right in. Yeah, you were like France. Yeah, I took French for two years in high school. Yeah? And I really do like it. See, the reason that I paused there is I really like Gaelic. Oh yeah. I really do, but I think that French would probably serve me a little bit better. Well, I mean, it's, I will say that like I've got, so I took French in high school two years. We.

53:08
And but the Duolingo app. So I've been refreshing my French. But I also I love German. Because I've heard that German is like one of the best languages you can learn for singers and speakers because you use so much of your vocal, it's your stuff in the back of the throat and the front of the throat and the way you have to form vowels and things is supposed to be very good for breath control and your voice. So so I've been doing

53:37
doing German, but also I do have Gaelic that's on there. So I've got like three different ones at all. Let's move around. Our Irish. We gotta go. We gotta go to Ireland. We gotta learn Gaelic. We're going on a trip. That's right. Sláinte. All right, well that is our Fast Five and that's the show. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I have absolutely loved this.

53:58
If folks want to keep up with you in your glamour journey, or just keep up with you, and you're trying to get to Ireland, what's the best way we can keep up with Miss Audrey Monroe? So Miss Audrey Monroe is, it's at, you know the at symbol, Miss M-I-S-S, Audrey Monroe. If you put it into Google, my website should pop up, TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube. Okay. They are all right there. Awesome. And there's a link in my bio on Instagram too,

54:28
a little bit more involved or you want to shop. I have an Amazon storefront. Oh great. And there are selective items there. That's awesome. I've got discount codes. You just click the link in that bio and it's like a link tree bio so it has all of the things. Save you some money on beauty products. That's right. Or if somebody is interested in sponsoring your trip to Fashion Week in New York. Yes, you can. I'm sure there's an email link or something like that.

54:58
Exactly, get right in there and drop me a note. Be like, this is for this is for ear market. Yep. This is for the plane. Ireland, Ireland and fashion week.

55:10
Paris Fashion Week and the Dior dress. So we've got all the things. Well, I will make sure to put those in the show notes of the podcast. And I really do just have, just love you and your energy and what you have going on. And I wish you nothing but just greatest success in all of it. Thank you for having me, Robb. Absolutely. It has been a pleasure. If you would like to support this podcast, I'd appreciate it.

55:40
if you bought me a Coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com. But until next time, look forward to the moment we have to sit a spell and chew the fat.