Jenny Bender, Radio Personality, Nerd, Dog Mom

00:00
Thank you God that that boy dumped me in the church parking lot and that I didn't end up as Mrs. Chick-fil-A.

00:12
Welcome to another edition of Chewing the Fat.

00:17
I'm your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in, downloading the podcast. I certainly do appreciate you being here. Thank you to the new friends that I've made on Instagram @ChewingTheFatBR and for the folks that have supported the podcast with buying me a coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com. Thank you so very much. I'm excited about my guest in studio today. We've been talking about getting together for a while. And I actually was in her studio before she was in my studio. But please welcome Jenny Bender.

00:46
Hey, this is nice. And thanks for coming and helping me set up my digs. Although I have a long way to go because this is posh. This is not, this is not really posh. It's pretty posh, Robb. Is it really? It is pretty posh. I mean, I think- You have a candle in here. I don't have a candle. The closest thing to a candle in my studio is a Scentsy burner that hasn't been lit in three years. Well, I know some folks that listen that sell Scentsy, so they may be reaching out to you to get some holiday scents or something like that. We're coming into fall.

01:16
But Jenny, thank you so much for being here. I remember the first time I met you, and I don't think you remember this. It was at Pot Smoker Barbecue when Bobby still had the trailer. And it was like over here off Edgefield Road, and he had pulled up and I think you had just gotten a towel. Wait a minute. I do remember that because that was, I'm thinking my first week here.

01:44
And T had said, we're going to show you around. We went to North Augusta Customs to look at the Kicks99 truck, which had not been out yet. And they took me to the gypsy camp, explained to me what all that was. And I was like, what in the world? And then we went to Pot Smoker Barbecue. I do remember that. I can't believe you do. Wow, that's so neat. Yeah. You know that's been almost 10 years ago? This February, 10 years ago. Wow. Yeah, actually January, because it was right before that big storm came in. Yeah.

02:13
Yeah, exactly. Well, so obviously you're not native to the Augusta area here. Where are you from originally? North Carolina. I was born and raised in Mooresville. It's like 30 minutes, 30 miles north of Charlotte. OK. And if you are in NASCAR or no NASCAR, you're like, you know exactly what it is. But if you're not, you're like, what the heck is Mooresville? So I usually tell people I'm from the Charlotte area. But I spent like I didn't think I'd ever leave.

02:42
Generations of my family grew up there, born there, lived there, died there, never left. Mooresville. Yes. And so when I was in my late twenties and I went into radio after a quarter life crisis and a guy broke my heart and I was like, that's it. So anyway, that's when I ended up leaving Mooresville and got a job in Brunswick, Georgia, nine hours away from Mooresville.

03:07
I was so homesick because Moresville, it's gotten to be a little bit bigger now, but then it was just like this quintessential small town, like Mayberry-ish. And yeah, so that's where I'm from. And I love it. It's so funny. This is the thing. And it doesn't matter if you're from a big city or a small town, you grow up thinking I cannot wait to get out of here. I will be living my best life when I leave. And then you leave and all you want to do is go back.

03:34
It's exactly like that Kelsey Ballerini song, half of my hometown. I cry every time I hear that song. So I'm like, that's about Morrisville. But yeah, I love it. Love the 704. Yeah, you still get up there and, I mean, do you still have family up there? My parents, after I got married, moved. And so they haven't lived there for several years. They live here now in a funny twist of things. They live in Blythe. And my sister and her husband live in Wilmington, so they're not really near there anymore.

04:04
But I say I don't have family there anymore, but everybody that I grew up with is my family. So I have dear friends there and I don't get up there as much as I like, but I still try to get up there when I can and see everything. It's like a time capsule. I love it. That's awesome. Now you, in growing up in that town, you said you had a quarter life crisis that, had you had an interest in radio prior to that? Did you?

04:30
sing in choir? Did you go to school for broadcasting or journalism or anything? Well, yes to two out of three of those. Yes, I've always had an interest in radio and somewhere and I know my mom saved it. Do you remember the little Fisher Price tape players? It was white and had a red cassette tape on it, cassette player and had a little microphone that would pop off and you'd sing into it. And I

04:54
I kept mine on up until my teen years, and I would play radio with that thing, and I would call into the radio stations. I would get up early and call into the morning show and bug the crap out of them. Now that I'm on this side of it, I'm like, they probably rolled their eyes every time. I'd be like, this is Jenny from Mooresville. So I always had an interest in it, and I would keep a tape in the tape player, because this was the 90s, we had cassettes. Right.

05:22
And anytime like they would play me when in a contest or something, I'd hit record. And I thought it was the neatest thing that I was on the radio. So I always had such an interest in it, but I thought, how does one get into that? That's just like not a real job. And it's kind of not a real job. But here we are. But, you know, when I got into high school and I was like, oh, I have to get a real job. And so I picked health care. I picked being a nurse because I never had an interest in it. But that seems like.

05:50
That's a very adulty job. I graduated in May. You know, when I decided to be a nurse, April, just in time to scoot it and apply for a last minute scholarship. And the mayor of Morrisville, North Carolina decided to give me a scholarship. It was a miracle. I hate it. And I got into it and I was like, what am I doing? I hate this. I'm too empathetic. I can't be around sick people all the time because I carry, I just carry it too much.

06:18
But I'm glad I did it because I was able to help take care of sick family who we kept at home. And I, so I don't regret it, but I was like, what in the world am I doing? But I did it for eight years. I did radiography. I was x-ray tech. I did, I gave people injections, shots in their butts. I worked at a chiropractor. You know, I worked for a pain management doctor. I'm a medical transcriptionist. Yeah. And I thought this is the...

06:46
this is what I'm gonna do with my life. I'm gonna get old and die in Mooresville, North Carolina, giving people shots in the butt and typing up medical records, because that's what you do. And then I was dating this guy, and we met at church, and his family was like my family that had grown up in Mooresville. And we were set up by a mutual friend. And here's the thing about Mooresville, like I said, it's a small town, and the Pickens are slim. And so if you find another single person that kinda likes you, go with it. And so we went with it.

07:15
And we dated for about a year and like, he had this big life plan, like he was gonna own a Chick-fil-A and I was going to be Mrs. Chick-fil-A and like, it was gonna be awesome. And then after church one day, we were standing on the church parking lot and he dumped me and like, I never saw it coming. And I mean, we were going to get married like the whole nine yards. I was devastated. Like the rug got pulled out from under me in such a way that I was so, it sent me into such a depression. Like I didn't...

07:44
I mean, I didn't want to live at that point. And I had gone over to visit my mom and she took my car keys from me because she knew that I didn't need to be by myself. It was bad. It was a bad time of life. And it just got me like to think, thinking about everything in life and evaluating everything in life. Like, cause I was so miserable, but I was like, I pinned my happiness on this person. And also like, there are so many things about my life that I'm not happy with. Why am I putting up with this?

08:14
And so my mom was like, do you remember when you were little and used to love to be on the radio and to call in like, why don't you look into that? She had seen a commercial for a broadcasting tech school in Charlotte and I was like, I'm too old. I was 25. You know, she was like, you don't have anything to lose. She's like, why don't you just call? And I did. And I never would have guessed like how that moment was going to change my life.

08:43
but it did and so for as devastated as I was, I wish I could go back. It's sad that I remember the day. It sounds like I'm not over it. I promise I am. I wish I could go back to August the 15th of 2010 and tell Jenny Perry at the time, hey girl, this sucks and this boy, like what he did you dirty, but like, it's gonna be okay. You know? So I look back on it now and I'm like, thank you God that that boy dumped me in the church parking lot and that I didn't end up as Mrs. Chick-fil-A.

09:15
That's wild. Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. And you know, it's crazy sometimes how things happen to us to push us into action that we would not have taken on our own. 100% we get so in our comfort zone. And I mean, even the fact that I'm where I am now, that was not in the life plan to be even moving from Kicks 99 to WAFJ.

09:44
That was not in my life plan. But you get in your comfort zone when we get into our routines. And change is scary. I hate change. I can't stand it. But I look back and all the biggest changes in my life have always been the scariest, but for the very best. Yeah. Well, because you get to this point where it's like, okay, good enough is good enough. And then something happens to push you through that or push you out of that.

10:13
And you realize, wow, good enough wasn't actually good enough. It wasn't as good as you thought it was. Yeah, it's kind of that forest for the trees. You're there and it's like, well, I know this is the tree I do this at, and this is the tree I do that at. You know, I'm OK. Not realizing there's a whole forest, you know, and other more beautiful trees out there that you could be exploring. Exactly. That is so well. So you got into the broadcast class school thing or something? I did.

10:43
I still don't know how I did because it's a small school and it's not easy to get into and because they have a really high placement rate and the teachers and the instructors and everything, they're all people who work in media in Charlotte, which is a major market. And so everybody wants to get into the school because nine times out of 10, you're going to land a really good job or an internship and you're going to go places with it.

11:10
And so there were people there that had like the quintessential radio voice. Like we went for the studio tour on like a Thursday night. And my mom drove me to Charlotte cause like in Mooresville, we do not drive on the interstate. I know you're kidding me. I never, I don't drive on the interstate. I do now, but didn't then. And so you had to do a screen test and an on air test. And so they put us in this radio studio, put some headphones on us and let us read like an entertainment report. And I was like, what in the world am I doing?

11:38
I'm from a trailer park in the armpit of Moore's for North Carolina. Like we don't do stuff like this, but I just got in there and I was like, okay, there's 10 seats in this classroom for the year. I'm not gonna get one, but I'm coming out of a really stinky time in my life and I'm gonna have fun tonight. And so I was like telling my mom, get out.

12:00
take pictures of me doing this, because I'm never going to get to sit behind a microphone ever again. And she, and they had a TV studio in this school with a green screen and you know, the control room. And I was like, get pictures of me doing this. And I got a call the next day from the director going, we would love to offer you a scholarship to come here, which they don't usually do because it's a tech school. And I didn't, I didn't know what a thumb drive was at the time. Like I had my...

12:30
my knowledge of like techie stuff related to this was nil. I mean, I'm still very stupid with it as you well know, but it was even worse then. So yeah, I got in, it was such a blessing. Like I still don't know why they did, but I'm so thankful that they did and just were so patient with me and gave me the freedom to be myself. And it was just for the first time ever I was surrounded by people outside of my family, but...

12:59
I was surrounded by people outside of my family who were like, you can do anything. I never believed that. And I was like, they're not just telling me that to be nice. Like they really believe that I'm better than I am or that I can do things that I don't think I can do. And it was such a fuel for me. And I'm so grateful for that school, Connecticut School of Broadcasting. That's, you know, and the thing is, is probably you deciding to have fun that night. It probably was the thing that they picked up on, because I will say,

13:29
over and over again that people in television and radio, I've worked in both mediums, are the biggest bunch of high functioning intelligent weirdos I've ever met in my life. Yes. And I love it. Yes. You know, and so you probably like, you know what, this is my one shot. I'm just gonna at least have fun so I've got pictures of it. Yes. That probably puts you in a mindset to be yourself and to like I said, just have fun with it. And that's something that I bet they didn't, hadn't seen.

13:58
Well, obviously they hadn't seen before because it was the people coming in. It's like trying to be the next Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather or whatever. Get up there trying to be Katie Couric. I got up there and I was reading a story about a, I think the mock news story that they had us read behind the desk was something about like a dead body found behind a Walmart. And I was like, welcome to CSV news. Oh no, there was a body found behind the Walmart in Charlotte. How tragic. Bill, it's time for the weather.

14:25
You know, I didn't, I had no TV aspirations. I still don't, but I was just like, you know, I'm so glad that I didn't get in my head. Cause when you try to with anything in life, not just this, when you try too hard and you get in your own head, you hold yourself back from so many things. Yeah. So absolutely. And this podcast is a testament to that. I was in my head for a year before I hit the record button. And, and then once I hit it and

14:54
releasing the episodes. I was like, why? Why did I wait so long? Why did I wait so long? And it's like I have listened to it many, many times. Like when you asked me to be on it, I was like, yes, because I wasn't going to be that person like, can I be on your podcast? But I have like, how you've had friends of ours on here and I'm like, I genuinely love like the whole vibe of this podcast and that it is so conversational.

15:18
And you know, I was like, oh man, I'm going to do fast five. This is awesome. So like what you've built here is really, really special. And you're doing a great job with it. I appreciate that. I really do. So you went to the Broadcasting College and you said the first place you got a job was in Brunswick, Georgia? So that was my first paying job. When I was in Connecticut School of Broadcasting, I got an inter, I actually got two internships out of that. I got an internship with what?

15:48
with I Heart Radio and it was a promotions internship, learned how to set up the tents and sweat where you didn't know you could sweat. Not fun, but very useful knowledge. And then really the turning point for me was when Charlie and Debbie at WSOC in Charlotte, he was my teacher in radio and he allowed me to come be their intern and put me on the air and taught me about production and imaging and so many things like.

16:16
Anything good about me came from God and Charlie Nance. They were amazing to me. And he really helped me to get my first paying job doing afternoons in Monroe, which yes, that was my first paying job, but it was sales and being on the air doing an afternoon hosting what's called a Swap Shop. Have you ever heard of that? There is a series on Netflix called Swap Shop.

16:43
out of Tennessee, it's out of a station in Tennessee. And it is amazing. I love watching it. It is so good. I have to watch that. I'd never heard of this. It is so good. It was live radio on an AM station and it was like people call in, they give their phone number on the radio. I gotta track this as well. My name is Clement and I'm selling rabbit poop by the scoop and I'll trade you for some lawnmower parts. And you can't have any dead air. So like you have to be on it to say the same thing over and over anyway. I did that for a year.

17:13
when I got a call from Brunswick saying, you want to come do mid days. And I was like, do you have a swap shop? And they were like, no. And I was like, sold. Let's go. That's awesome. So from where'd you go? Where'd you go from Brunswick? I'm trying to trace you back. I went to Brunswick with, you know, and I was super homesick. I really, I loved it there, but I also hated it there because it was my first time living outside of Mooresville.

17:41
And I was like, but I got to be here for at least three to five years. Cause it's like radio, you know, you, you sign that contract three to five, baby. And then, you know, move on. And I was there for eight months when I heard about the job at kicks 99 and how I found out about it is just a total God thing. And I, it gives me chills and I'll never get tired of sharing the story. Okay. The week before I was supposed to come to Brunswick to interview for this job. My dad found out that he had a very aggressive form of cancer.

18:10
And he's had bouts with cancer since I was three years old. So this in a way was nothing new, but this time was a lot worse. And I was like, I can't take this job. And my dad, after seeing me make, you know, $8,000 a year in Brunswick and Monroe, North Carolina, doing a swap shop, was like, you gotta take this job. And if you don't take it because of me, I swear it'll kill me faster than any cancer will. You have to take this job. So I did. And it ended up working out because he would come down there and stay with me during his treatments. But...

18:40
I didn't get to come home at all because I worked weekends or I was on call or whatever. And so for somebody who grew up in the same hometown and I get to get a home for seven, eight months, that was a lot. So I had come home for Christmas and I was driving back home sobbing like, cause I was like, God, I just want to go back home. Please get me out of Brunswick, Georgia. I say that my friends in Brunswick and I love them.

19:07
And I passed, I was driving down I-77, past the interchange that goes from Columbia to Augusta. And I was like, Columbia would be awesome because Columbia is not that far from Mooresville and I would still be able to maybe get a job. And so I held out my hand and looked at that sign that said Columbia, Augusta, and I was like, in Jesus name, you're next. I kid you not, I went back to work that Monday and I sat down at my desk to do some prep when I was on.

19:35
All Access, which you know is like a industry site. You get jobs and show prep and everything on there. And that Monday I was looking on All Access and they said there's a country station in Augusta, Georgia looking for a cohost for their country station. And I was like, well, shoot, I think I could do that. But I've never, I didn't know. I Googled, where is Augusta, Georgia? Well, it's two and a half hours from Mooresville, you big dummy. So I called up my mentor, Charlie, that I told you I interned for.

20:05
And I said, hey, I know this is a long shot, but there's a place called Augusta, Georgia, and they have a country station there, and they're looking for a sidekick. And he was like, what's the name of it? I said, it's Kicks 99. He said, I did that morning show there for seven years, and the people that run that station are like my family. He said, let me make a call. By the end of that day, I had an appointment set up to come and interview here. And then my panic turned to Brunswick. I've been here for eight months.

20:35
What are they going to do? How do I get out of this contract? They were like, we're so happy for you. They brought me a cake. They I mean, I'm going to try not to cry thinking about it. They were so kind because it wasn't about the business. It was about the people for them. And they wished me well. They helped me. They listened to me when I came up here to do my on air interview. And they were like, you did so good. We're so happy for you. I do too. And

21:04
I'm so glad that that was my first taste of radio because, you know, not everybody in this business is like that. But I'm so glad that that was my first taste of it. And so they are still such good friends of mine. And it turns out that when I will spoiler alert, I got the job in Augusta. And so the the morning show who was basically my boss in Brunswick used to be in Augusta also. He was here as Joe Mama.

21:31
And he was like, I got a really good friend there named Austin Rhodes, and I'm going to connect y'all before you go up there. So when I came up here for my interview and I met Austin and I was like, who's the person that likes the monkeys? Because I love the monkeys. So the first time I ever met Austin Rhodes, we stood there and cried over Davey Jones, because Davey Jones had died not that long ago. And I was like, this was just a divinely orchestrated move in so many ways. That's right. Yeah.

22:01
Fun fact, and this shows you how small, this is how small the industry of radio is, because again, I tell people all the time, it's about who you know, not what you know. Correct. But like, when my first internship was at 96RXR, they were down on the 13th floor of the Lamar building, Joe Mama was one of the jocks there. No way! Yeah. And then also, when

22:31
I know this is not as not as fun, but when I moved to Birmingham to be the producer for the Patty and Dollar Bill show, they had gotten pushed out of WZZK and Chuck and Debbie became the new morning show at ZZK. Yes. And I was there competition with Patty and Dollar Bill, who was the legacy morning show in Birmingham for like

22:58
Wow, and they hated it in Birmingham. Yeah, I heard they did not like it. I heard they did not like it there. That is such a small world. Right? Isn't that crazy? Yes. And actually, Charlie, I call him Uncle Charlie, but Chuck, he's the one that taught me this. He was like, the toes that you step on today are the butts that you have to kiss tomorrow, because this business is small. So be careful before you burn a bridge. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

23:26
That is so funny that you met Joe Mama down there. That's amazing. Yeah. So you're here, you're doing mornings in the Grand Metropolis of Augusta, Georgia. And that's exactly what it felt like compared to Mooresville. Are you kidding me? And even Brunswick, I'm sorry. Oh, yes. I was like, I have to drive on the interstate every day. Anywhere you go, you've got to get on the interstate pretty much.

23:51
Now I loved it. It was a huge thing for me, but it felt like home because I was so glad to be so much closer to my family. Quick zip up I-77 and I'm home. But also like Augusta, like up until this point in my career, I had really just, I was so work focused. I was coming off that bad breakup. I was like, no relationships, no fun, no life outside of work. Like this is what I'm going to do. And failure is not an option because the doctor that I worked for...

24:17
When I went back to broadcasting school said that I was mentally unstable and emotionally unhealthy. Maybe he wasn't wrong. Okay. I'm going to give him the benefit out, but he said, maybe I'll keep your job open for you so that when you fall flat on your face, you'll have a place to come crawling back. He said that. And so I was so motivated not to fail at this that I just had blinders on. But when I landed in Augusta and I was like, okay, all I've ever wanted to do was be on a country morning show.

24:45
And here I am. And I thought, I can enjoy this. So I made friends. And you know, I, one of the, really the very first friend I ever made the day I came into town to sign my contract was WB, Brian Dubb. I don't know what they're calling him anymore. I think they're just calling him, everybody calls him Dubb, Brian Axelson. We found out like, he's the male version of me.

25:13
Like we became such best friends so fast because he loves Elvis. I love Elvis. He appreciated my affinity for George Strait and like everything. And so, you know, I ended up having a circle of friends here. Yeah. And then that helped it just to feel like home. And I really was like, wow, I'm here for longer than just a contract. Like, so when they wanted to renew me after a few years, I was like, well, yeah, it was a no brainer.

25:43
So, and then to see the version of the Kicks Wake Up Through crew through so many versions from Mike, Steve and Jenny to Mike, Jenny and Dubb to Dubb and Jenny for a while to Cash, Jenny and Dubb. Like, yeah, it was, I'm so thankful that I got like everything that I am and what I've been able to accomplish in radio, like up to this point, I would not have happened if I would not have been at Kicks. And I'm so thankful like to T and Chris O'Kelly and Kent, because

26:13
I mean, I have them to thank. They really had no business taking a chance on me, but they did and I will always be really grateful. That's awesome. And now you're still in radio, not in country radio. It's a different genre and type of radio. How did that transition come about? Was it another one of those, this is the moment, I need to stretch and get a little uncomfortable kind of thing or? Yeah, and it was weird.

26:42
And really, I look back at it, I never thought I'd leave Kix. I never thought I'd leave country radio, because I love it. I still love country music. It's so far in me, and I love Christian radio too. And I had listened to WIFJ since I lived here, because I'm a sponge for all different kinds of music and radio. But when the pandemic happened and everybody got sent home, it was a weird shift because...

27:10
me and Brian and Sean, like that's still, I don't know if I'll ever do better radio than that. And I don't know that I'll ever have better partners than that. I don't think I'll ever work with people more talented than those two guys. And we were such good friends off the air. And I think that you could really tell that, but it's like anything else, like you have to nourish friendships and relationships. And when the pandemic happened,

27:39
My mental health took such a hit during all of that. And everything in my life, including my relationships, really suffered for that, specifically when we got sent home and we were no longer palling around and, you know, all of the unrest with politics and social issues and everything. And we were three very different people in a lot of ways. But it just that really changed everything. And and so when I look at the shift,

28:09
that's what I trace it back to. And I take responsibility for letting everything that happened in the world and everything get into my head. And, you know, it was, so it was awesome. And then it all of a sudden wasn't. And I thought, well, I'm in my comfort zone. I'm not gonna leave. And so that fall of 2020, we won a CMA, which was amazing. And that, for me, that was always like the quintessential career goal.

28:38
Um, but then I was like, well, I really want to win the personality CMA. But by that point, things had just gotten so weird behind the scenes and, and I didn't really know how to, how to fix that beyond what I was already doing. And I, and I really got in my own head and I was like, they hate you. They don't want you and you suck at this and you don't belong here anymore. And.

29:06
you know, and there were reasons why I felt like that. And I don't even think all of that even matters anymore. But the point is, is that it got to a point where, yeah, I didn't fit in there anymore. And I didn't feel like I belonged there anymore. And I really felt like I didn't belong in radio anymore, which sucked because I worked so hard to get here and saw all I ever wanted to do. And so I was really making plans to get back into healthcare at the end of January. There were some things that had

29:34
happened and conversations that had happened. And I was, I told my husband, like, I just, this isn't for me anymore. And he's like, I'll support you. But I really thought maybe I'm done. And I just happened to get a call from WAFJ and they were like, please send us your tape and your resume and let's see if we can find something for you.

30:01
because they were looking for at the time they wanted somebody on their morning show. And I was like, I don't want to do that. I'm stupid, but I ain't stupid enough to go and compete with the number one morning show in Augusta. So, um, they ended up the, just saying, Hey, would you come do our social media and do our mid days? And you know, I was definitely, nobody's in radio for the money, but I was definitely not a Kix 99 for the money. And so they were, you know, they made me a really nice offer.

30:30
really generous offer. And it enabled me to stay not only in this, in radio, but in this market. That's unheard of, because I didn't want to move. Like my family is, my husband's family is here. He's got a great, he's got the grownup job. I was like, we're not moving from my job. Somebody's got to carry the health insurance. It ain't gonna be me. And so, yeah, it was within a, within about a week, all of that transpired from me saying, I don't think I need to be here anymore.

30:59
to WAFJ giving me this offer. And then it's funny because I got called into the office at Kix 99, they wanted to renew my contract. And I was like, God, I just, I can't do it. I can't sign on for more of this. If it's gonna continue to be the way that it was there at the very end, again, at the beginning was awesome and I wouldn't take the world for it. But the Lord just like worked out the timing of it so that I got offered the job.

31:29
a WAFJ on like a Wednesday. And then the Thursday I got called into the office to renew my contract. I said, actually, this is my notice and I'm gonna be leaving. That was difficult and awkward and uncomfortable. It still makes my palms sweat to think about it. But it was the right thing at the right time. Did I handle everything? I was hurt by a lot of things at the time and I probably didn't handle everything.

31:58
in the best way at the time, because I just thought, bye, and I'm gonna leave, you know? But it was the right move at the right time. And I, you know, I don't have any hard feelings about any of it, but you know. And you've been at AFJ for- Two years now, yeah. And it's so funny because like country music is so a part of who I am.

32:25
And I like, it was, it was effortless to work in it because I'm so enmeshed in it anyway. And I love the Christian music genre, but I'm a lot less familiar with it because I didn't grow up listening to it. We didn't have a Christian radio station in Charlotte for a long time. And so that has sort of been a little bit of a learning curve for me. But I've, I've really been thankful for how the listeners have, because we share a lot of our listeners with WFJ and Kicks, you know, there's a lot of people that listen to both.

32:56
And I'm really thankful for that because it was like to start over, like we were talking about change. Yeah. I, the first week Rob, my fingers were bleeding because I had chewed my nails so badly. I looked like Rambo. It was awful, but it was sort of like going to a new school, but you already had friends there that you could sit with at lunch and that's how the listeners have been. And I'm, I'm really, really grateful because I still feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but

33:24
they're so kind and so loving and so welcoming and so patient with me. Because I don't have it all figured out, especially in Christian radio. The Lord said, judge not lest you be judged. But let me tell you who judges people. A lot of people. A lot of Christians can be just so judgy, but these people have just been so kind to me. And I'm really, really grateful they're just letting me grow with them. And they are.

33:51
So accepting of my imperfections and my flaws because we all have them, you know? Yeah. Another small world moment for you. My first paying gig was at WLFJ in Greenville. So the parent company. His radio. Yeah, the parent company for AFJ. So they are all part of what's collectively known as RTN. And I have gotten to go to Greenville, which I think now they're in like...

34:18
something like 13 or 15 markets all over the Carolinas and Georgia. And I got to go do their fundraisers with them. And they're just they've become such good friends of mine at his radio and I will fill in for them from time to time. I love I love that. That's so funny. Like what a small world that is. I that was my first paying radio gig at the Saturday mornings. And

34:45
I must have still only been like 16, 17. So I would drive from Augusta to Greenville. You know, that two and a half hours up 25 and would do six to noon was my shift. Wow, cause that's, cause you're passionate. That's what people already do. They're that passionate about it. I made enough money to pay for the gas to get up there and back. And that was it. And it was a blast, wasn't it? Oh yeah. Yeah, you probably looked forward to it every week. I did. And I did that for, so I mean, I'm leaving here at like, you know.

35:14
three in the morning so to get there on time. And I did that for three months and then they had an opening there and I applied for it and I didn't get it. And so I took that as my sign. I was like, well, I'm going to at this point, I've been driving back and forth for three months. You're invested. You've given it a good try at that point. Yeah. I'm like, you know, I'm going to see if I can find something more local to that. And I mean, I love the PD, Ben Bird song.

35:43
God rest his soul. He was great. But it just didn't work out at that time. But I still think I still loved that drive, even that drive in and my time just tootling around Greenville and then driving back because I would do my shift and then pass out in the production room. I'd like pull the cushions off the couch and go to sleep in the production room. Yeah. In the original studio. I guarantee it's not wherever the studio is. Was it on Wadehampton Boulevard? That's still there. But it was like a little house. It was like a little.

36:11
blue or in white or something house. Still there. They actually, a couple weeks ago, they just did a groundbreaking, they're going to expand it because right now, their studios are on one side of the road and their offices are on the other side of the road. Oh wow. But yeah, still on- Yeah, everything was in the one building and so. Yes. Wow, that's so funny. Yeah, but I mean, like I said, you do radio because you love it. Exactly. And you know, there's something about it and I loved it.

36:40
In that time that you've now had since leaving Kix, whatever, you've had some time to repair some relationships and those things are getting better? I hope so. There are still people that I keep in touch with sometimes. And it's just, and it's not any hard feelings. It's just one of those things that life happens, you know? And it's like, because I feel like for six months, we had dinner with Brian and Kelsey the day before Maddie was born, their daughter.

37:07
She's like nine or 10 months old now. And we've been saying like, we need to get together. We need to get together. I want to meet the baby. Well, she's not really much of a baby anymore. Is she? And that's just life happening. And there are other people that I haven't kept in touch with. And I take responsibility for that again, because you have different responses. My response when I get hurt or I get mad is you just distance myself. And so I regret that because

37:36
Sean and Brian were just like, we were best friends. And even outside of work with our spouses and everybody, we were just like, it was amazing. And I'm so thankful for it and really thankful that I just got the chance to work with them and learn so much. I will never, I really don't think I'll ever work with anybody more talented than Sean Cash. And I hope he listens to this and hears that because I haven't spoken to him since I left, but he is to me.

38:06
the most talented person that I have ever worked with or will ever work with. I learned so much from him. I've never met anybody that made radio sound so effortless. And even now, I think, how would Sean execute this? How would Sean handle this? And Brian just having that gift, and it is a gift to get along and have a conversation with anybody and it not be fake or contrived. And...

38:34
I think with everybody that you meet, even if the friendship is for just a season, you take away the good things from those people. And so I haven't talked to Sean since I've left, but I think that we are going to run into cross paths at a wedding coming up at the end of next month. And I'm really looking forward to that because as I go through things and experience things in life and realize how...

39:01
dumb and stupid I can be. I'm like, I need to take responsibility when I don't handle things right. And when I need to make apologies or when I just need to be like, Hey, I'm sorry that I, I'm sorry that I, that I let our friendship fizzle over stupid things or whatever. So to answer your question, like not yet, but I'm, but I hope so. It's no, it's, it's never too late until it's too late. Yeah. I mean, so, yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I encourage you to.

39:32
do what you feel you need to do. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I think over the last couple of years, what life has taught me is that no friendship is worth stupid stuff. Yeah. Especially with all the social and political unrest of the last couple of years. If I could go back and tell 2020 Jenny one thing, it would be to keep your mouth shut because nobody cares about your politics.

39:57
And you're not going to change anybody's mind over shouting your opinions. What's going to really affect people in a good way is by how you live and how you treat people. And there's a verse in Proverbs, I suck at numbers, so I couldn't tell you where it is, but it says, basically, the Jenny Bender translation of this Bible verse is this, keep your mouth shut, because when you speak, you look stupid. And so I wish I would have done a little bit more of that. But you know,

40:27
We were all crazy in 2020. We were watching the news. I thought the world was going to end. I thought that every, I thought we were all going to die from coronavirus and that if you shook somebody's hand, you were going to get sick and die. I thought I was never going to be able to see my family again. And all of that just gets in your head and it changes the way that you act without you even realizing it. And it really did a lot of damage to my mental health then. And I know it did for a lot of other people too, but.

40:56
It really taught me like what's important and what is not so important in life. Yeah, for sure. Well, what's bringing you joy right now? Man, my dogs, my dogs always bring me joy. Um, it's so, that sounds so stupid. I feel like I should have had something a lot, a lot heavier to say. Look, you met Magnolia. She is my heart. That is.

41:20
that is, I think about her and cry while I'm at work. You know, it's like, it's one of those things. It's like, that's not a stupid answer. There are a lot of things that bring me simple joy now. Like the things that bring me joy now are really nothing related to work, which I used to have, when I changed jobs, I had to have like this intense inward conversation with myself of like how enmeshed my identity is with my job title. Like,

41:47
Does anybody, and this was an actual question that I asked myself, well, does anybody care about Jenny Bender? Because Jenny Bender and Jenny from Kicks 99, like what is it gonna be if it's not Jenny from Kicks 99 anymore? And does she matter? And I was like, I cannot let myself get that enmeshed in my job again, because I love what I do, but it's not who I am. And so I'm really careful. Like I want my job to bring me joy, but I don't want that to...

42:15
be the source of my ultimate joy. So really like I get joy from just knowing that, man, God has given me so much grace and cut me so much slack when I didn't deserve it. And God has been so good to me when I just, listen, if there was anybody that he should just throw his hands up and be like, look, you are a basket case and I'm done with you, bye. Like, but he doesn't do that to any of us. That brings me joy. My dogs bring me joy. My husband brings me joy. My

42:43
Parents bring me so much joy, and especially now that they live closer. The prayer of my life since I moved away from Mooresville in 2013 was to live close to my family again, because we don't have a big family. We've got a close little family, but we don't have a lot of extended family. So last year, my parents had some health issues, and I really started praying like, Lord, I will make this drive to North Carolina every weekend, but I don't want to, and I don't want my, whatever time my parents do have left, I don't want it to just be like, see you in a month.

43:12
or whatever. So they decided they wanted to move closer. So they know I got them a cute little house out in Blythe, Georgia. I love Blythe. And so that's bringing me joy to be able to take care of them and to spend time with them and have quality time with them and to know like for whatever time that any of us have left, we're together. And, you know, did I say my husband yet? He brings me joy. He's such a great man. He's like way too good for me. And then this is going

43:43
Flowers bring me so much joy. I have never had a green thumb Rob the only thing I ever kept alive was a plant that I watered for six months and it turned out to be fake Okay, and I didn't know it was fake my friends were over the house and they were like What the heck is she doing and I was like I'm watering my flower and they went and told Chris They said somebody needs to tell her that that's a fake plant But I

44:09
My mental health has not been great lately, especially over the past two years. And I thought that it would change the more that I got, you know, put distance between things that had happened and it really didn't. I was like, I need to, I need to find some other hobbies. So I've never had a green thumb, but I decided I'm going to try to plant some seeds and grow some flowers.

44:30
and they're growing and they're beautiful. And I talk to them and I get so much joy from going outside and watering my plants and talking to them and tell them how happy I am that they haven't died and how beautiful they are. And they say that plants thrive when you talk to them. I thought that was a bunch of baloney, but I'm telling you it works because they are so beautiful. Like, so that brings me a lot of joy.

45:02
Hey Jenny, this is the second segment of the show. We dive a little bit deeper into your mental health journey. I am a very big believer that we all have these days that we, whether you have like diagnosed depression or you just have a down day or a day where you just feel like doing nothing. And the more we can talk about it, the more we can like destigmatize talking about mental health, the better it is for all of us because we realize we're all in it together.

45:32
So for you, how do you keep the darkness at bay? I knew you were going to ask this because I'm an avid listener. I have not been diagnosed, but I know that I recognize that I do struggle with severe anxiety and depression because it runs in my family. My dad and his mom and his sister are all bipolar. And I used to just think I was just a nervous kid.

46:01
I was that kid that would go to a sleepover and be worried like, are my parents going to die tonight? Like, you know, really weird, like that's morbid, but that's just the thought process that I've had. And then as I've gotten older, it's become much more severe. And it really ramped up in 2020. And you know, high functioning anxiety on the surface, it's awesome, because we're people pleasers.

46:26
We will not say no to anything. We are overachievers. If you're in a group project with us, listen, you want to be in a group project with somebody with high functioning anxiety, because we're going to do it and we're going to do it well. You know? But I will sit here and admit to you that I need to go to therapy. And it's been something that I've just sort of been putting off because I say I don't have time for it because my life is so busy.

46:53
So I just keep the darkness at bay one day at a time, honestly. And really, not even one day at a time, but moment by moment, just going, God, I need you to get me through this. Because I can overthink a lot, and I will make mountains out of all hills, admittedly, but especially with the stress of the last, my parents held problems and I had to take on so much responsibility for them in this last year, facilitating their move, medical bills, all these adulty things.

47:22
It's so heavy. I've never had a sleep problem and now I can't sleep if I don't have melatonin and a muscle relaxer and a glass of wine helps too. And still I fight, I think a lot of times, you know, because I'm a Christian and so Britt thinks, well, if you're Christian, then you don't struggle with any of this. Let me tell you what, no. And you go through and read the book of Psalms written by David and tell me that man didn't have some mental issues, mental health issues. Nobody is immune to

47:52
It's really a moment by moment thing, a situation by situation thing. And I will find myself even laying awake at night going, God, I need you to take this burden away. I know he takes our burdens, but I got a habit of picking them back up as if I know what to do with them because overthinking is so effective. So yeah, I need to make time for doctors and medication because...

48:21
Those things are a gift from God, like the ability to know how our minds work and how they're designed and the chemicals and all of that. For me, it's a combination of faith and just deconstructing everything, but understanding that I don't have it all figured out and that's okay. Because newsflash, all the sleep that I've lost up until this point worrying about things, I'm still here.

48:50
I'm still alive. Everybody's still alive. We're all doing okay. So, um, it's, reality checks helped to keep, keep it at bay for me. Yeah. But check back in with me after I've, after I've gone to a therapist because I am looking for one. I don't want to go to one that I know because you know, is that weird? Well, you know, no, I don't, I don't think that's weird at all because I mean, that's, you know, it's like, I don't want somebody knowing my deepest darkness to be serious. I want, I want a stranger.

49:18
to know my deepest darkest secrets. You know what I mean? But a knowledgeable stranger so they can tell me what that deepest darkest secrets mean to me. You know, and you talk about like, you know, COVID and the shutdown. One of the things I think is great though, in all of the bad that happened is telemedicine. Because you can actually go and you can have a, you know, a therapist session on your computer with the camera.

49:46
with somebody completely across country. So I signed up for better help. I haven't done a session yet, but I've created an account to do it because I've been looking for therapists around here, but I'm like. What if I ran into them in the grocery store? Yes, or like, not to sound any kind of like haughty or like this sounds prideful or vain and it's not, but like, what if they know who I am because of what I do for a living? Yeah. And then like, it's sort of like, this is gonna be gross and I'm sorry. It's sort of like,

50:15
I don't want to run into my gynecologist anywhere else. And if I see her, I get so uncomfortable. Cause I'm like, we both know what I'm thinking. And I don't want to have to be like that with my therapist. Right. Like I just don't. So I'm excited about that. Like I didn't, I don't have a filter, but there's a lot of stuff that I need more help to work on, but I will say this because

50:43
This has helped me significantly because I'm not under the care of a therapist yet. There are so many resources on YouTube from licensed therapists and psychologists. And I'm so thankful. Like my favorite one is Chris Reese. And there's another one, Dr. Romany, who's pretty prominent on YouTube. The fact that people like that are putting their knowledge out there because not everybody can afford better help or not everybody has the resources to go see a therapist.

51:11
I hope anybody listening to this knows, you don't have to have the resources to get at least some help. Because when I started doing a deep dive and figuring out, oh my gosh, I'm not, I am crazy, but there are tools to help me cope with it from these people that are being so generous with their time and their wisdom and their knowledge on YouTube and things. Those tools, I went through and took notes on things because I'm extremely, I found out.

51:41
I'm codependent. I didn't need a therapist to tell me that, but I learned that I am. I learned what enmeshment means. I learned like people pleasing and why that's not actually a good thing, but tools to help me be less of that. So that has been a tremendous help for me over the last year and a half to get resources like that. Yeah. And like you said, they're out there, they're available. You have to know to look for them, you know, but like say if...

52:09
If you're like, oh, well, you're saying YouTube, that means that I'd have to computer, you can go to the library and use a computer for free. And go on YouTube or whatever to do these things. And even just having someone that you can talk to, I'm a big proponent of just having someone that you can talk to. Therapists are best, but if you're not at that point yet or you're scared, I don't wanna talk, have a friend, have a trusted friend.

52:39
that maybe it's that friend that you, maybe it's that work bestie. And you're like, we do so much, but I'm gonna need to talk to you outside of work and I need you to not judge me because I need to, I just have stuff going on that I need to be able to talk through. And this is also another thing that has really helped me tremendously. And when I don't do it, I feel it is journaling. And I'm not somebody who keeps up with a daily journal.

53:08
I will lose track and then feel like a failure. But there are all sorts of resources online, like online journals. And so if I'm having a bad day, or if I'm just in a bad head space, having bad thoughts, I write it down. Nobody's got the password for it except for me. Nobody's ever gonna see it except for me, but it is so cathartic to just get it out. If I got opinions about people or whatever, I get it all out there.

53:37
There's no shame, there's no judgment, because nobody sees it except for me. But I'm getting it out because keeping it bottled up is so bad. And so there are some things I feel like I can't talk to a friend about, or I shouldn't talk to a friend about, but I need to get it out. And so journaling is awesome. Whether you like to type for me, I like to, it just feels the sound of the keys. It's so therapeutic for me.

54:05
I highly recommend that to people who just need to get their feelings out. Yeah. I mean, because you never know what that's going to lead to and what discoveries as you're doing that release of feelings, writing them down, and being able to go back and look at that later. That's the thing. And you're like, I survived that. I got through that. Or look how that turned out for me. It's like, wow. I was so worried about that.

54:34
I was journaling through my transition period from Kix to WAFJ, and I keep that actually at my desk so I can go back and look at it because I see how tormented I was and how upset I was. And I was like, look at how God worked that out. And so that really helps me, you know, in the journaling thing, it helps me have perspective. Jenny, this is not that bad. You are going to get through this. It's going to be OK.

55:05
All right, Jenny, this is the third segment of the show. It's time now for the fast five. The fast five. It's time now for the fast five. Fast five. Sorry, I'm still working on theme song. It's okay. I actually should probably just record that one myself instead of doing it live every time, but you know what? Fast five is powered by Poddex. It's an app created by my friend Travis Brown. They're great conversation starters, icebreakers. So if you need to, you know.

55:32
have a question to ask the folks that you're talking in front of next or something like that, get some get some POD decks cards. They're made for podcasters, but they're really great questions. As a matter of fact, if you go to chewthefatbr.com slash pod decks, you can use promo code chew and get 10% off your physical decks. But I'm going to be using the app and you can find that in your favorite app store called POD decks. And the way this goes five questions. First thing pops into the top of your head, you don't have to think about it too much.

56:03
There's no wrong answers. And that's it. You ready? You ready to go? I'm ready to go. Here we go. Question number one.

56:13
What is your most treasured memory? Oh, oh gosh. I have, there's too many. But this one is a really special one. So, cause it also proves that I'm not always financially responsible, but my husband for Christmas got me tickets to go see Hugh Jackman a couple of years ago.

56:37
And like, I love Hugh Jackman, but I only loved him because of the greatest showman. Never seen the Wolverine movies. Really had no clue what that was. Anyway, so our seats were not great, but the day of the concert, we're heading down there, we went with Brian and Kelsey and I was like, they have a front row seat, Chris, and it's only a hundred dollars. So we bought two of them and like Hugh Jackman was like sweating on us almost. And I ran up and I touched his hand and he high fived me.

57:05
And I said I would never wash the hand. I did, I'm not gross. Well, that's good. But it's so funny because I was like, I just touched you, Jackman. And Chris looks over and he goes, you just touched a Wolverine. I don't know why. That's the most random of all my favorite memories. Okay, that's a funny one. Can I have a tie? Cause this one is a sweet one. Okay. Okay. If not, you can edit it out. That's fine.

57:34
My grandmother is my, like my favorite person that's ever lived. And she passed away at home when I was able to, you know, be there when she died. She wasn't coherent in her last days. Um, but I was just sitting there going over like old times. She took us to Disney world and just sitting on the porch, snapping beans and all this. And she couldn't talk. She was in a, you know, a coma right before you pass away, but she opened her eyes and she looked at me and she said, good memories.

58:04
And then she shut her eyes and she passed away not long after that. And I know, right? And I, when you say the word, whenever somebody says the word memories, I always think about that. Yeah. That's so sweet. Golly, that's great. That's great. All right. Question number two.

58:28
If you could go on an adventure tomorrow, what adventure would you choose? Oh, okay. This should be easy because I haven't been on a vacation in a really long time. I would love to go to the snowy mountains. You know on TikTok, like in Colorado, where they show the Airbnbs that are just all glass and there's Christmas music playing?

58:58
You can have the beaches and the trotland. I want the cold weather and the snow. So like I would go somewhere where there's snow on the ground right now. Christmas town, that town on the TikTok, that's like it's Christmas all year, that's where we'll go. I don't know where that is. I'm gonna have to look that up. I've not looked up Christmas town, but I love Christmas, but I've not looked up Christmas town. That's, yeah. My son went to Lake Tahoe snowboarding like.

59:24
last year or something with some friends of his and I was so jealous because he was like sending pictures and I'm like, why do you get to go and I have to work? It's not sweaty there. Wow. Yeah, no, I love that. I love that. All right, question number three. If you could learn any language fluently, what would it be? French. Really? Yes. Are you duolingoing some French? Okay. What's your street? Okay.

59:53
like a little bit of French. I should say Spanish, right? And I took Spanish from preschool all the way up until the ninth grade. Oh, wow. Right? I could count to a million in Spanish at one point. I can't remember very much Spanish. In high school, in our, in 12th grade, I got all my core classes out of the way, so I got to take all electives, right? And I was like, I'm gonna take French. I took one year of French. I won the French award because...

01:00:20
I was so proficient in it and that sounds impressive, but I was in like a freshman class. I was in year one because I'd never taken it before. I love the French language. It's just so beautiful. You could cuss somebody out in French and I would be like, tell me more. Like it's just so, it's so beautiful. I don't care the worst thing you have to say to somebody. It's not like German. You could tell somebody the nicest things in German and it's gonna sound like you're telling them to just go straight to H-U double hockey sticks. Like the French is just so beautiful.

01:00:50
I would love to talk French. Is that your French accent? This is what's so even nerdy about it. I was so, you know who made me want to take French? Celine Dion. She's not even from France. Okay, she's Canadian. French Canadian. Here's the cool thing about that class though. You got to pick your French name. So I picked Celine. Nice. And to this day. Celine Dion. When I go back to Moresville and I ran into my French teacher at Walmart, from across the aisle, she goes,

01:01:18
Bonjour Céline! That's awesome. That's so good. Alright, question number four!

01:01:32
how many chickens would it take to kill an elephant? Zero in my world because I would not kill the elephant. Okay. I don't understand that question at all. Me either. And I love chickens and elephants. I would love to have both of them as pets. If there was like a territory fight, like West Side Story or something, yeah, the chickens and elephants. Well, yeah, when you're a chicken, you're a chicken all the way. From your first clucking breath to your last dying day.

01:02:03
I mean, it'd be easy to say that the elephant would stomp the chicken, right? But they're so, they're so cute and docile and like, brrrrr

01:02:33
Because like if it's not an actual live chicken, but like a chicken breast been sitting out for a week, that salmonella would take the elephant right out. True, or one of those plastic chickens that makes the noise that, eeeeh! Yeah. That would scare the elephant, maybe give it a heart attack. Fall off a cliff or something. Yeah, this is so morbid. I don't want any elephants or chickens to die. There's no elephants or chickens were harmed in the making of this podcast. Hey, question number five.

01:03:04
If someone made a movie about your life, who would play you? Ooh, okay. I always say this is a two-parter because it's like, who would you want to play you? Yeah. Or who would actually probably get the job? I love Emma Stone. And she's already got the hair. And I maybe look like her except for I'm fatter and my face looks different. But. I look like her, but my face looks different. But besides that.

01:03:33
Like this is hard because there's really nobody that that looks like me. She's such a good actress though. I think she could pull it off and like, cause I'm like the red neck, like if anybody could pay, play somebody from a trailer park who eats cold beanie weenies out of a can, it would be Emma Stone. Like, especially when she was in the help and she was like, mama, get off the porch. Like, so I'm going to say, I'm going to say Emma Stone. I'll take it. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah.

01:04:01
Well, that's our fast five and that's the show. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. This was so much fun. It was a lot of fun. If folks want to keep up with you, Jenny, what's the best way they can do that? So I am on Instagram and TikTok at Jenny Perry Bender. And I'm also on Facebook. You can follow my page there. I share memes and I love a dank meme. And right now I'm selling a lot of my.

01:04:30
crap on Facebook because I'm trying to declutter my house. So maybe you'll get like a $8 pair of shoes. I don't know. You can also at wafj.com, I do a blog every week and you can sign up for a newsletter. Actually every other week I do like a devotional just to share about life and keep you encouraged. And you literally never know what you're gonna get with that. Sometimes it's like, you know, wow, I took an airplane ride and God's creation is incredible. Other times it's like.

01:04:57
My cat died the other week and I was like, you know, God comfort you and all those kinds of things. So keep up with my blog. It's not always depressing. I just made it sound really depressing. Yeah, right on subscribing to that. Yeah. It's super encouraging. And of course we can listen to you on WAFJ as well. Yeah, I'm on from noon to three and weekends noon to five on WAFJ. Awesome, I will make sure to put all those links in the show notes. Thank you again, Jenny, for being here.

01:05:27
This was a delight keep doing what you're doing. Like I am a podcast nerd and This is one that I always look forward to new releases from very very good. Thank you so much I really appreciate that. Thank you. And if you would like to support this podcast I would appreciate it if you bought me a coffee at chewingthefatbr dot com. But I look forward to the next chance we have to sit a spell and chew the fat.