Shelley Underwood, Mom, Career Woman, Survivor

00:00
I really have to almost pinch myself that I've arrived here because I was willing to do something that I hated in order to overcome my circumstances.

00:15
Welcome to another episode of Chewing the Fat. I am your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in. I certainly do appreciate that. Thank you for the follows on Instagram and Facebook. And of course, I appreciate all the coffees that everyone has bought at ChewingTheFatBR.com. It really helps me to keep going with the podcast, especially on those late night edit sessions. I am really excited about my guest for today. I've known her for several years.

00:45
We work together in retail and I'm so excited to reconnect with Shelley Underwood. Hey Robb. Hey Shelley. Thanks for inviting me here. This is exciting. Yeah, I'm so excited to have you here. I really loved our time working together. You're always one of those sunshine bright smiles I loved seeing in coming into work and.

01:11
You've gone on to bigger and better things. And so this is an amazing time for me to have a chance to reconnect with you. I love it. I love it. I enjoyed working with you too, Rob. It was a lot of fun and those were good times. Yeah, for sure. Really good times. For sure, for sure. Now, Shelley, let's get a little background. Okay. Are you from the Augusta area? I am not. Oh, where are you from? Well, depends on what age I was. Oh.

01:38
was born in Houston, Texas. Okay. And I lived there for five whole weeks. Ooh, five weeks. Five whole weeks. But I am a Texan by birth. There you go. And I moved 21 times by the time I was 17 years old. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Military? No. No. Can you believe it? What? Yeah, that's what everyone thinks. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of average military moving, so.

02:07
What caused 21 moves? Well, my biological father was a professional student for many, many years. And so he would move from school to school, working on different degrees. We lived in Germany. I went to first grade in a German school. I spoke fluently when I was young. Really, and now? I can speak a little German, but not too much. I think I have some Kleenex right there if you need.

02:35
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But my dad was working on his PhD in comparative literature in Germany, and so we were there off and on. And then my parents got divorced when I was seven, and that brought a lot of instability. I actually think I survived that well because I'm an extrovert. I enjoy change and meeting new people, wired that way.

03:02
But I do have to say it was definitely motivational for me in wanting to provide more of a stable environment for my kids. So, good and bad, but yeah. All right, so you moved 21 times by the time you were 17. Did you do any other moving after you were 17 before you ended up in Augusta? Oh yes, yes, many, many moves. So...

03:25
I graduated from Georgia Southern University, where my mom and my stepdad live, and I met my ex-husband while there. I've been in Georgia ever since then. So I guess I came to Georgia in 88 or 89, something like that. So I'm a Georgia peach nail, Rob. There you are, there you are. Other than Georgia, do you have any favorite places that you lived previously?

03:54
I have to say I love being from the state of Georgia. Okay. So I'm a fan. But I have traveled a lot in Europe and I have to say I loved Italy. I still have memories of being in Switzerland and riding on the train and just seeing the incredible mountains and the blue, blue water of the river and I just being overcome with the visual of it.

04:23
So that's too cool. Yeah, that is too cool. So you're here in Georgia, Georgia Peach, and you talked about raising your family. You have raised a family of five boys. That is correct. The cool thing is I actually worked with some of your boys in retail. We worked in the same place at the same time. So that was kind of cool. I think it was at least two of your boys, right? Correct, correct.

04:53
Um, so I mean, how was that raising five boys? I raised two. One is still here. The other one is now in Cornwall, England. Wow. Yeah. Matter of fact, he's going to get married tomorrow. So. Wow, congrats. Yeah, yeah. I wish I could have been there, but.

05:13
COVID and passports and travel and stuff like that. Just those things out of line, but we've got some FaceTime coming up to be able to see the service. So that'll be cool. But yeah, so I mean, I know how difficult it was raising two. Right. Raising five. That's some super mom stuff right there. Aw, well.

05:36
I guess they could probably speak to that, whether it was or not. But you know, I homeschooled my boys, so I really looked at it as a career. I loved being at home and I loved taking care of my family. I enjoyed homeschooling them. That does not mean there were not challenging times, just like with anybody, but I really enjoyed that life.

06:01
when I went through my divorce is when all of that changed and I was no longer able to homeschool the boys and had to develop a career. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But I mean, I feel like you have handled that so, so well. As far as like, when I see like your posts from your boys and we were friends on Facebook and Instagram and stuff like that. And anytime that you are around them, there's always such,

06:30
such joy in you, it's almost a state of wonder, you seeing what they're accomplishing. And I just think that's amazing that you, whether you want to admit it or not, that's all result from you, and for them to be who they are, that's all part and parts from what you have done to raise them and to see their joy in hanging out with you. And of course, I understand.

06:57
You know, Instagram, that's the edited, curated life that we show everyone, but it's genuine. It's genuine in the way that your boys talked about you when we worked together and things like that, and to see their responses when you would visit the store. And it's just so amazing. So good on you. Great job, mom. Thanks, well, I really do.

07:25
enjoy my kids and you know most of them are adults now so it's not like I'm raising little ones or I have a teenager in the home although I do have a teenager in the home shout out to Bobo and he does a great job just we have a great relationship he he keeps his nose clean at least as far as I know and we're rocking and rolling along but I will say for me one of the

07:55
I knew that the relationship was primary, and, but I knew I also had to provide direction. You know, they couldn't just run amok. And so I had a goal, one of my goals was that when my children were adults, that they would want to seek my counsel. That we would have that kind of relationship, right? And they do, they do. And I feel,

08:22
incredibly grateful and blessed that we have, that we are weathering life together. You know, they're very gracious to me. We've, I've messed up many times. We've had conversate, transparent conversations about it. So I'm able to, you know, apologize and, and they mess up sometimes and they apologize. And it's, it's just a very real, accepting, assuming the best and others

08:53
I really enjoy them as people and I feel grateful that I get to experience that in this life. Yeah, they're pretty amazing, like I said, and they're also completely different. And this is an outsider's view of them, they're also completely different, but I can see your hand in each and every one of them. So, yeah. Thanks Rob. That means the world to me. Anyone out there listening and you know, parenting is very hard. So when we get out of girls and out of boys, it means...

09:21
the world, so thank you. Absolutely. So from going to raising kids, homeschooling, to now having to pivot and become a career woman, again, to provide for and to raise the boys on your own, what was that transition like? Anxiety-ridden. Yeah. When my ex-husband

09:49
left. He left our home violently in front of my three youngest children, and I ended up having to wrestle a gun away from him. He was suicidal, so he wasn't trying to harm us, but he was trying to harm himself. And he had made some poor choices, unfortunately, and he actually ended up going to prison for those choices.

10:12
I, when he left, I was left with no financial resources at all. No retirement, no savings, no home, no equity in a home. I had literally nothing. I had people leaving food on my, anonymous strangers leaving food on my doorstep so I could feed my children. I was attending a church and some of the leaders came in and started selling things off so I could have cash money. I got on welfare.

10:41
And I could not think. I was so consumed with anxiety. And thank God there were people around me that could do some thinking for me and helped me navigate that. But the thing that I did know, Rob, was that I had to find it within me somehow to take action. I had to. And I developed a mantra.

11:08
and my mantra was, I will not allow fear to dictate my destiny. And I used to say it over and over and over, and I just would say it to myself and say it to myself. And there were nights when I'd be up sobbing and I would just cry in my bed and just say, I will not allow fear to dictate my destiny. I will not allow fear to dictate my destiny. And

11:34
So I started taking tiny steps forward, you know, and I tried to listen to my gut when it said to do something and instead of not doing it, I would force myself to do it, even though I was scared. And over time that has served me well, over time that served me well, that's continued to be my mantra. Even to this day, and I'm not in that situation. I remember the day when

12:03
I got my job at my current company, ADP, and I got off welfare, and that was just a huge day. And I got benefits for all of my kids, and they were no longer. I felt we were no longer a burden to society, which really bothered me badly. It was embarrassing. It was just humiliating and embarrassing. But I had to do it because I had to provide for my kids.

12:31
But I do remember the day when I got off of it. And as I navigated my career at ADP, it was the same thing. I did not know corporate America. I had been developing some business acumen that was really helpful, but I didn't really know how to navigate the waters. And that was very scary. Everybody spoke a different language. I remember on the first one.

12:56
week I was there someone said they didn't have enough bandwidth for something and I was like well my Wi-Fi is working fine. You know I don't, let me look at your phone maybe I can help you find some bandwidth. Because I just didn't know. I didn't know the lingo and so I kept saying the same thing. I'm not going to allow fear to dictate my destiny and I would, when I had questions I sought them out. I found mentors who would speak truth to me.

13:25
Right? Tell me the real deal, not just tell me what they thought I might want to hear. Like I wanted to improve. And so, and so I grew there and that mantra helped me. And even today I still, now it's more like, well, Shelley, if it scares you, you know, you got to do it now. I mean, it's kind of that conversation, right? But it's that mantra that I developed has, I will carry that with me all my life. That's awesome. That's so amazing. And

13:54
I know at one point you had started your own consulting business. I did. I was going in and helping small businesses to figure out how to navigate their growth in terms of their people. And so how do we train people? How do we put them in the right places? How do we determine someone is a right fit for the role? How do we hire people? I wrote a lot of job descriptions.

14:17
I used a book called For Your Information. I believe that's the name of the book and it has a lot of competencies in it and I used that a lot. I really enjoyed it. I have to say though, I knew that I wasn't, in my soul and spirit, I'm an entrepreneur. But because of my situation, I knew that that would not be the steps that I would take full time because...

14:44
I have to, I'm still recovering, you know, I'm still building a retirement. I have kids in the home. It's just not feasible. And I was really using that as a springboard to network and develop to get to my next place, whether that was, you know, at ADP or potentially outside of ADP. So it definitely, I definitely had to use that, you know, stepping out in faith and handling and navigating fear.

15:13
But I did enjoy it, I have to say. Those were fun times. I think I did that for about a year, or a year and a half or so. Oh, that's awesome. And during that time, like you said, I think there's a lot of personal development that goes on with that. Like I said, you were using it to help you get to whatever the next thing is. They say, don't do things that don't move you forward in whatever your path that you're chosen. It gets you closer to your goal, closer to your dream.

15:42
always do the things that move you closer. And sometimes we fall into things that don't seem like they're moving us forward because it could seem like, oh, well, now this is the thing. This is, I've started my own business. This is what I'm gonna do. But it seems like you were very self-aware that it was going to be a time of growth for you to move you into whatever that next thing was as well. Right, yeah. I was definitely...

16:11
looking for opportunities and looking to connect because to really to grow your career it is about Networking and getting to know people right what I learned really quickly was that Dropping a cold call resume an application to some random company just does not work It's really about getting to know people and then you can Your personality can shine and you can share your strengths and your areas of expertise. So that was what?

16:38
what that was about. And it was a period of growth, but I do look at every season of life, whether good or bad, you know, the nuggets are in the lessons learned, good or bad. And I, many years ago, I determined I just wasn't really going to live with regrets. And people say that.

17:04
I've heard people kind of talk down to that, saying that, I don't live with regrets, but I think there's that, for me, there is value in it, because what it means for me is that I am not gonna sit and focus on the past, for one thing. That doesn't do anything for me. And then I also believe in whatever it was that causes me to have the feeling of regret. Well, there's a lesson in that, and I can learn from that, and I can say, okay,

17:32
Well, Shelly, that was really stupid what you just did. That was like the dumbest thing ever. But now I know not to do that thing again and I can make that choice going forward. And so that's the way I reframe it in my mind. Yeah, I believe it was my friend Wes mentioned that. It's like, you can't live life with regret because that's stuff that's already gone. But you can gain perspective from that. I like that. You know? Yeah.

18:02
It's like, oh, the thing is past and for you to have regret over it means you're dwelling in it. Yes. So don't dwell in it. Take the perspective, take the lesson, and move forward. Yeah, and also, we all share that experience. I think sometimes it's like when we're regretting something and perseverating on some experience in our past or something that happened to us, we think we're the only one.

18:30
right, we're the only person and look at me, I'm the dumbest person individual, or I made the dumbest mistake ever. But the reality is, is that we're all in the same boat. Every person that you encounter is having the same types of experiences. They too make mistakes. They too have the potential for regret in their mistakes. So we're all walking through this life together. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, absolutely. And those common bonds are

18:59
One reason again why I started the podcast is to uncover that because there are so many times where we feel like we're alone and we're the only ones that feel made this dumb mistake. No, we've all made similar dumb mistakes. And it's those kinds of things that we can connect around and learn from each other, you know, and move through this life together that make it so much more worthwhile and fulfilling, I think. Yeah. And we also...

19:28
we can feel with others. And I know having that ability to feel with others and then also say, hey, I have been there and you are going to make it. You're going to make it. There were many times when I was on welfare and I felt.

19:52
incredibly unsuccessful. And I felt like I, you know, people my age were much further along in, you know, their career and their life and their financial stature and all of this. And I would just get down in the dumps and I would be telling myself, you're never gonna be successful, Shelley. You're never gonna be successful. And my precious people would come alongside me and especially my very best friend who lives in California. And she would say, you know, she listened to hours of.

20:20
crying over the years, I'm sure. And she would say, Shelly, you are going to make it. You are going to make it. And she believed for me when I couldn't believe for myself. And it was invaluable. And she knew because she'd seen me make other things. And she herself has gone through her own trials. And we need to walk through these things with one another. And it reminds me of, you probably see a meme of it or something like that. It's like, you know, you've made it through.

20:49
every worst day before now already. All those worst days that you had, this is the worst day, I'm like, look at you now. You've made it past that. So if you're going through something, struggling through something, you're gonna make it through that too. Right, and I have to say, Rob, that is an important point you're making because as you overcome the struggles in your life, it builds bravery and courage within you and belief within yourself.

21:19
And so while hard times are coming for me, hard times are coming for you, hard times are coming for everybody listening to this podcast, because that's the way life is. But now I'm able to face them in a better way because I've survived, I've walked through, I've dealt with it, I've looked it in the face, I haven't run from it, you know, I haven't numbed myself, I did it, and so I'm like, and I'll tell myself that, I'm like, okay, Shelley.

21:46
you survived that thing, you're going to make it through this thing. And so now I have my own ability to build my own self up. And that doesn't mean I don't need my people because certainly I do, you know, that you never outgrow that. But I am braver and stronger. And my courage is continually being built as I go forward in this life. That's just so awesome. So what's the next step for Shelly? What's...

22:15
What's on the horizon? What are you looking forward to? I mean, it could be you're looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner. You know what I mean? What's, you know, you've got to the point that you're at now. What's next? Well.

22:33
Okay, so in my career I am, I walk in this place of gratitude every day because I love going to work every day and I love what I'm doing. And I really have to almost pinch myself that I've arrived here because I was willing to do something that I hated in order to overcome my circumstances or that I mustered through. But I've landed in a place where I really love what I'm doing and I'm taking on lots of

23:03
projects and I'm continuing to grow and develop there and taking risks and being brave and Doing things that are as and that are unfamiliar to me so I can learn and grow so career-wise I'm I'm I am my trajectory may be leveling off a little At where I've landed but still growth opportunities there for now in my in my personal life I have developed some cool

23:31
goals out there. Like one of them is me and my boys, we are going to Asia in a year and a half and we've been talking about that. So that's a huge something I never thought I would be able to do or accomplish. And then once we accomplish that, the hope is is prior the summer prior to Bo's senior year.

23:57
and then he'll graduate. And then my goal after that is I've loved to travel and I haven't done it in so long, right? Just cause I've been busy working, working, working. But my goal is to take two trips a year, one abroad and then one to a state park somewhere. And so those are some of the fun things I'm looking forward to, along with Thanksgiving and Christmas and seeing my boys and spending time with them. That's awesome. So are they all coming back?

24:26
to town for the holidays? They will. They'll come back and accept Price who is in Japan. He's in the Navy. So I'm sure that he'll experience Thanksgiving and Christmas the day before we do because of time. Right, right. But I'm sure we'll connect via FaceTime. He's not on a boat right now. And I think that's the way it's staying through the end of the year. So we'll get to connect with him. Thank God for technology, right? Right.

24:54
So cool to be able to connect via FaceTime like you with your son in England. Yeah, it's amazing stuff. And to think that it's so second nature now. And just as little as 10 years ago, that video calls, that wasn't really a thing that a person could do, corporations and stuff. But just to have something that you could pull out of your back pocket and do is pretty amazing. Pretty amazing stuff. As we are rolling into

25:24
this time of year. For the next few episodes of the podcast, I just wanted to give guests a chance to maybe say some of the stuff that they're thankful for. Is there something specific that you're thankful for? Well, there's so many things I'm thankful for. I mean, I can make a list, but you know what that brings to mind for me as we're going through the holiday season? I remember some years ago,

25:54
living in Augusta and I'm sure you're familiar with seasonal depression. And every Christmas I would get what I would call angry depressed. And it revolved around the fact that I couldn't do for my kids at Christmas what I wanted to do.

26:16
such a struggle just to keep up the tradition of the meal, you know, that we'd always done. You know, that was my goal to try and keep things the same. But I would get angry, depressed. I was very angry at my ex-husband, if I'm honest, for putting us here in this financial situation where I couldn't do for my kids like I wanted to. So what I would do is – and I didn't like that.

26:41
When I didn't like that, I was angry at my ex because what good is that doing? Right. Nothing. You know, it's not doing a hill of beans of good for anyone, especially me. Mm-hmm. And so what I would do, and I'd just be so blue, and so I decided one year I said, Shelly, you're going to start a gratitude list. And every night before bed, I forced myself to write three things down.

27:08
Three things I was grateful for, and sometimes they were ridiculous, like, because I just was so upset, so sad, or so angry. You know, sometimes it was that I have a pillow to rest my head upon. You know, I mean, it was just, sometimes it was like, you know, the Christmas tree is pretty. I mean, you know, it was just really basic. And then there were days where I could write 20 things because I was feeling more great, and you know, I was just feeling better.

27:34
Like my mood level had elevated. But I have to say that that those steps really helped me through a number of dark holiday seasons where I was struggling to find joy. I wouldn't want to listen to Christmas music. I hated Christmas music. You know, I just, I was very bah humbug, but that speaking of gratitude. Really was helpful. And so for.

28:03
this coming holiday season, are you still writing down things that you're grateful for? Do you have that type of tradition maybe around the Thanksgiving turkey that everybody mentions something that they're thankful for or anything like that? We do. We do. We do go around the table. I'm sure like many families do, and we say what we're thankful for. And it's interesting. I think that when you go through

28:33
very dire straits and you literally do not know how you are going to pay rent from month to month to make sure that your kids have a roof over their head. It puts things into perspective. I mean, I bought a house last, oh my gosh, a year ago coming up this month. And that had been a huge, huge goal of mine. And I used to, again,

28:59
Sorry to all your listeners about all my crying. I talk about when I did a lot of crying, but I would just cry because I was like, how am I ever going to achieve the American dream of owning a home and I'm pouring money into rent? But so I walk around this home and I remember, I, there was a season where I didn't know how I was gonna pay rent. I did every month, I did it, it happened, but I didn't know how.

29:26
Now I have this townhouse and it's mine and I get to live in it, you know? And so, you know, for me it's, it's when you've had the worst, it really highlights, for me it really highlights where I am now. I literally, my mom and I talked this weekend and I just wept tears of joy because I was like I just, I'm just in awe and gratitude of where I am.

30:00
All right, Shelley, this is gonna be the second segment of the show. This is where we like to dive a little bit deeper. I know we've touched on some of these things in the previous segment, but we like to talk about the commonalities that people have in those dark times, you know, anxiety or depression, or just a down day, just a bad day. And everybody has those. But how do you stay positive? And what do you do to keep the dark at bay?

30:30
That's a good question. I can tell you a couple of things that I have done in my life that I think for me have helped. One is that I exercise. That's been an important part of I know that when

30:49
I've been a runner my whole life. I know that when I go for a run, my brain feels better. I can head out and I can be angry or sad or whatever it is. And nine times out of 10, my emotional state will turn around. Now I'm not running quite as much because I'm in the gym. But I find that it's the same thing. I force myself to go even when I don't feel like it. And I feel better when I'm done.

31:18
The other thing is that I do watch what I eat in terms of making sure that I put things in my body that make me feel good instead of feel bad, so I'm in tune with that and I pay attention to it. And I also make sure that I get good sleep.

31:38
I don't sleep well at all and when I don't get good sleep, I'm either grumpy or I cry. So those are some practical things that I do to keep the dark at bay. But what I would say also is that for me, it is keeping my people around me and making sure that I am connecting with people

32:07
who care about my wellbeing. I don't want to hide what I'm going through, right? We need to share these things with people. We need to not feel ashamed if we are having a bad day, a bad month, a bad year. And so my circle is very small, but

32:36
They are people with whom we each rely on one another to not just share the joys of life, but also share the great trials of life. And I would say for me that's really my lifeblood. Do you find that there is a...

32:57
certain cadence to that connection with your circle that helps in keeping that circle tight? Well, I think it's a choice you make, right? So, I mean, I am, you know, an extrovert. I am a people person. So connecting with people already energizes me, right? That might be connecting with someone and being vulnerable and transparent.

33:27
I'm sure extroverts have trouble with that as well. But maybe an introvert might be more challenged, like if they're not comfortable reaching out, or they're more to themselves, or they process. One of the things I've noticed with my children is some of them process verbally, like me. Like if I am having a bad day, I need to verbalize what's going on, and that helps me figure it out. If I keep it rattling around in my head, I just go crazy.

33:55
Right? So I understand that. Some of my children though, I've noticed they have to process first and then they'll talk about it and that's okay too. But for me, I think my circle, we just keep in touch with one another if I'm really honest. Like if I haven't talked with some of my friends in a while, then I'm reaching out like, hey, I haven't heard from you. Is everything okay? I'm checking in. Right.

34:21
And they're doing the same for me. If they haven't heard from me, they're like, hey, I haven't heard from you, just making sure, are you okay? So it's this mutual cadence that we share. Yeah, I am very much a big believer in, when someone crosses my mind, I feel like there's a reason that that, I mean, it could be somebody I've not talked to in years, hadn't had communication with in a while.

34:47
but they cross my mind for a reason. So I'm gonna send a quick text because that takes me no time to say, hey, you crossed my mind, just thought I'd check in, hope you're doing well, you know? And then that way I've made the connection. Because like I said, I feel like there's a reason that they crossed my mind. And a lot of times that response is, hey, thanks for checking in. Today was a really bad day. That helped me. So I think being in tune with yourself and with...

35:14
You know, if you call it the vibrations of the universe or whatever, uh, and being vulnerable to reach out to people when they cross your mind really helps because you, you just don't know what somebody else is going through and you don't know what that bit of communication, that that lifeline could mean to them. And I think that's something that we all could, could really

35:42
use, I know that I've been the recipient of such texts before and it's usually, you know, there's like, Oh, there's a reason for that. You know? It's interesting that you say that because I do the same thing. If something crosses, if a person crosses my mind, I work hard to not dismiss it, you know, and engage. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's, that's really important.

36:12
Because like I said, you just don't know. You really don't know what's going on. Or sometimes we know, but we're scared. We're scared to take action. Body language, facial expression can tell us a lot. I mean, what do they say? 70% of communication is through your body and your face, something like that.

36:33
And so when we see someone and we can clearly tell they're in pain or they're struggling in some way, sometimes that's scary and it's hard to want to reach out. But we need to and that's, you know, where we need to really push ourselves to be brave.

36:53
All right, Shelley, this is gonna be the third segment of the show, it's time now for the Fast Five. Fast Five, fast five. Sorry, I don't have a theme song. I'm still working on it. Fast Five. Fast Five is powered by Poddex. It's an app created by my friend Travis Brown. It's great, made it for podcasters. It's great conversation starters though. So if you ever have to like, you know, talk in front of a group of people and you need some conversation starters, check out Poddex. Matter of fact, if you go to chewingthefatbr.com

37:24
and use the promo code CHU, you can get 10% off your decks. But we're gonna hit the randomizer here and let's see what your first one is.

37:38
Burger or hot dog? Burger. Is there a particular reason why? I mean, do you just like burgers better? Is it from your time in Germany? No. No, that would be more wieners, wouldn't it? It would be, it would be. No, I do, I love like red meat. Yeah? That's awesome. I think I lean towards hamburgers as well. Yeah. There's just something about that. With some blue cheese and some caramelized onions on top. Oh, you're getting fancy. Hello.

38:08
You can't fancy. Of course I am. You can't fancy. Somebody say bougie, but we just- I'm okay with that. We just go call it fancy. Hey, number two.

38:20
Would you rather own a vacation home in the mountains or at the beach? Beach. Really? 100%. Yeah? Yeah, it's a big dream of mine. Nice. Yeah. Just toes in the sand and the water and that's? Listening to the ocean is so cathartic and it's healing to my soul. And wouldn't it be cool if you could like hear that all the time? Oh yeah.

38:44
other than on your app at night, putting you to sleep. Right, because it doesn't quite sound the same. It does not quite sound the same. And you miss that salty breeze, you know, and all that. I am a mountain person, but, because that's my dream, is to get a cabin in the mountains, and that's where I want to retire to. Right, I'll visit you. Absolutely, and I'll come visit you at the beach. Woohoo! Woohoo! Number three.

39:12
What was the most expensive meal you've ever eaten out? Oh My gosh, so when I lived in Europe We went to Rome for New Year's and this was 85 And that meal cost my dad $1,000 for four people. Oh Yeah, was it

39:38
Was it good? I don't remember it. Wow, a non-memorable meal that cost $1,000. Yes. Yikes. Yep. Well, dang, I wonder what it was now. I mean, you're in Rome, so it had to be some sort of... Something fabulous. Fabulous in Italian and something like that. It was fabulous. It's unfortunate that I can't remember it, right?

40:02
Well, let's just say that it was the best meal you ever had and you blacked out. And that's why it was so good. Exactly. Did you blacked out? You can't remember it. All right, I think we're at number four now.

40:18
Ooh, as you get older, what do you realize your parents were right about when it comes to the future?

40:29
Wow. That's deep. From hot dogs to that. Yeah, that's what my parents, I'll tell you what I can comment on there is that when I was younger, I used to poo poo a lot of the things my mom said. And now I realize that she was right in a lot of those things. And I did not want to believe her. Like, can you comment on one of the things that maybe?

40:57
physical, how your body changes physically as you age. And I was like, that ain't happening to me. Hello, I'm gonna be young forever. That ain't happening, my mama was right. Dang it mama, she was right. Dang it, come it. Is there, this is a B subsection of that question. Is there something that you think your boys,

41:24
are going to be surprised that they discover later that you are right about that you told them that maybe they didn't believe when they were younger or maybe they've already made that discovery.

41:36
they're going to realize their mom really was cool. Well, no, I think they realize that. I don't know that they do. Listen, you aren't in my space. That's true. You're ridiculing me. Oh my gosh, if you can see the Snapchat videos they have put up of me making fun of me.

41:55
I live for the day when their children do, like the hologram or whatever it's going to be, them. I'm living for that day. You'll be in your hover chair, your floating wheelchair. I'm just laughing and giggling at you. Payback is hell, boys. That's awesome. All right, and number five.

42:25
Do you like documentaries? Love them. What's your favorite one? Um, the Roosevelt's. It was, it's done by Ken Burns. It's like a seven part series and it starts with Teddy, who is just someone I just so admire Teddy Roosevelt and goes all the way through FDR. And it's absolutely fascinating.

42:49
That's awesome. I'll have to check that out. I've not seen that one. I've seen several Ken Burns documentaries. The jazz documentary just knocks me out. Really? Yeah. Well, I'm a big music fan and you know, I haven't worked in radio and things like that, but yeah, the jazz one just knocks me out. It is so good. But I'll have to check out the Roosevelt's. I wonder if it's on like Amazon prime or something like that. I believe it is because I don't know it's on Netflix. Okay. I think that's where I watched it. And I was, that was the only reason I would

43:18
No offense to Netflix, but that was the only reason I was bummed about losing my, like, letting my Netflix account go. It was just that for the documentaries? Just the one Roosevelt documentary. Not even all of it, just that documentary. That tells you how much television I watch. That's okay, though. It's okay. I'm okay with it. All right, Shelley, that's it. That's our Fast Five, and that's our time. Thank you so much for being here on the show. I really appreciate it.

43:45
Robb, what an honor and a privilege to chat with you, and I just appreciate your generosity and what you are doing to uncover the fact that we all struggle with mental health issues. And thank you. Thank you for what you're doing for humanity. Well, thank you. And thank you for being here and being open and being willing to talk about such things. I really appreciate that. And I know everyone out there listening appreciates that as well. If people want to keep up with you.

44:14
Is there somewhere they can find you on Instagram or social media or something like that? For sure. So I have a website, ShelleyUnderwood.com. I periodically write blog posts. And then I'm also on LinkedIn. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. Okay. And it's Shelley with two E's, correct?

44:41
There we go. I'll put a link to that in the show notes as well. Again, Shelley, thank you so much for being here. It has been a, it has been a delight and a pleasure. Thank you. If you would like to support this podcast, please buy me a coffee at chewingthefatbr.com. While you're on the website, you can check out Shelley and all of our other past guests as well as previous episodes too. Thank you so much for listening. I look forward to the next time we have a moment to sit a spell.

45:10
and chew the fat.